We all know that in marriage, it’s not always the big things that cause trouble—it’s the little things that build up over time.
Just like dust accumulates in the corners of our homes when left unchecked, small annoyances, unresolved hurts, resentment, unexpressed (or unrealistic!) expectations, and neglected moments of connection can clutter our marriage.
Song of Solomon 2:15 warns us about “the little foxes that spoil the vines,” reminding us that the small things we ignore can slowly damage our relationship if we aren’t careful.
Similarly, there are probably some small things you used to do for your husband that he appreciated, but you've slowly stopped doing them.
Could these be some of the little things in your marriage that need attention?
- expressing aggravation or annoyance when your husband speaks
- the habit of rolling your eyes instead of extending grace
- the unspoken resentment that has built up over time
- hinting or expecting him to "just know" what you want or need rather than clearly communicating your expectations and desires
These small things may not seem like a big deal in the moment, but when we don’t address them, they create distance.
Can you think of some things you used to do that you haven't in a while?
- Maybe you loved planning date nights and had a blast, but since he doesn't plan them you haven't been either.
- Perhaps you used to leave love notes around but life got busy and you haven't thought about it in a while.
What did you used to do for him while you were dating that you've stopped?
This is why staying in the Word is essential—Scripture doesn’t just give us insight into our relationship with God; it also convicts and teaches us how to love our husbands well (Ephesians 5:33).
When we study God's Word deeply, it transforms us into more godly wives who exemplify the fruits of the Spirit, including towards our husbands.
If you’re feeling distant from your husband, take some time to pray and ask the Lord to reveal any areas where you might need to dust things off, purge a few unhelpful habits, restore some prior romantic ones, and refresh your marriage with some new displays of respect.
James 1:22 reminds us to be doers of the Word, not just hearers.
That means if God’s Word calls us to be patient, gentle, and forgiving, and if we're called to honor one another above ourselves, we need to actually put those things into practice—especially in marriage.
This week, do a little “spring cleaning” in your marriage. Apologize for the harsh words, extend kindness where there’s been frustration, and be intentional about nurturing your relationship.
Just like a freshly cleaned home feels refreshing, a marriage free from built-up offenses will bring peace and joy.
If you'd like a little more guidance, check out my FREE 7-Day Spring Clean Your Marriage Challenge! You'll receive a PDF workbook and 7 days of emails that will walk you through refreshing your marriage biblically, one small step at a time.
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