If you're anything like most wives today, you're trying your best to do it all—manage your home, caring for your children, serve at church, and do your best to love your husband well.
But far too often, those efforts are fueled by pressure, emotion, a sense of "Christian" duty, or even cultural expectations - rather than the truth of God's Word.
And when that’s the case, discouragement usually isn’t far behind.
The role of a godly wife wasn’t designed to be driven by emotion, pride, obligation, or performance. It was designed to be rooted in the truth of Scripture and faith in God.
When a woman renews her mind with the Word of God, everything changes—her tone, her perspective, her posture, and even her purpose.
She begins to see that her role isn’t just about meeting needs or keeping peace (and - spoiler alert - we're called to be MAKERS of peace, not keepers of peace).
The role of a godly wife is about glorifying God through her words, her attitude, and her trust in Him.
But you can't live out that role without understanding what God's Word says - not what other people tell you it says.
Wives who consistently spend time in the Word often begin to notice a shift:
🟣 their respect becomes more intentional
🟣 their love becomes more selfless
🟣 their communication becomes more patient.
Why? Because the Word sanctifies (John 17:17). It reshapes how you think, and therefore how you respond.
If you’ve felt stagnant or frustrated in your role as a wife, ask yourself: am I being shaped by the Word or by the world? Are my thoughts toward my husband rooted in truth, or in emotion?
This week, start small—spend 10–15 minutes reading one passage (Ephesians 5, Proverbs 31, or 1 Peter 3 are great places to begin).
Ask the Lord to show you something specific to apply. Write it down, pray it over your marriage, and revisit it daily.
Over time, you’ll see the transformation—not just in your actions, but in your heart.
Considering I talk a LOT about marriage and being a godly wife, I need to make a confession:
There was a season where I believed he was the problem. If only my husband were more "this" or did "that" less… then I could be the wife I wanted to be.
But the real turning point came when I stopped focusing on changing him and started studying God’s Word to change me.
(If I'm being really honest, this is still something I struggle with, and I need to remind myself that my goal of studying is so that I can learn and obey better, not to have ammunition against my husband or anyone else.)
The Bible is not a marriage advice book—it’s a heart transformation book.
When I got serious about studying it, making it my goal to learn more about God, what He desires for us and from us (especially with my marriage in mind), He started breaking chains I didn’t even know were there.
Chains of selfishness, bitterness, control.
Chains of unrealistic expectations and silent scorekeeping.
As I read Scripture, I realized that submission isn’t about being weak—it's about trusting God’s order.
Respect isn’t optional—it is my act of worship.
Sweet friend, if you’re in a tough season with your husband, I want to challenge you to go to Scripture first, not social media or even your closest girlfriend.
Ask God to show you what it means to be a helper, not a fixer.
Study the examples of women in the Bible—some got it right, some didn’t, but all of it points us back to Christ.
(Check out my dear friend Tania's deep study on this called The Helper - it's wonderful!)
One practical thing that may help you is keeping a marriage study journal.
As you read and study your Bible, ask God, “What do I need to do differently as a wife based on this?” Consider the applications you should make in your marriage, then journal what you're committed to doing and the passage you studied that brought it to light.
God’s Word will do the heavy lifting. You just have to keep showing up with a heart seeking truth and willing to change.
I used to feel so overwhelmed by all the Bible study methods out there.
SOAP, inductive, verse mapping, color-coding, commentary deep-dives… whew.
As a busy wife and mom, I just needed something that worked and made sense.
The truth is—there’s no “one size fits all” method. But there is a best method for you, in this season.
Let’s break down a few simple ones:
SOAP (Scripture, Observation, Application, Prayer):
This one’s my favorite for busy mornings. You write the verse out or simply summarize it, observe what it’s saying, journal out applications you feel called to make personally, and respond in prayer. It’s simple but deep.
SPECK (Sin to avoid, Promise to claim, Example to follow, Command to obey, Knowledge about God):
This one is more of an overall observation method to help you pull out wisdom you could potentially miss. This is great when you need a little guidance finding application straight from the text—especially if you struggle to see how the Bible connects to your daily life.
Verse Mapping:
If you like digging into the original language and comparing translations, this one’s for you. There is so much more depth when you realize why an author was using a specific word, or learn what other meaning is behind the word they used. It’s a little more detailed, but super rich if you want to grow in understanding.
Bible Digest Method (a.k.a. Homiletics):
This one’s amazing for bigger passages or teaching others. For clarification, let me state that I believe Scripture prohibits women from preaching to men or having authority over them, so this method is not for the purpose of preparing a typical sermon. However, Titus 2 does command older women to teach the younger and this method could be used to help you better understand what you are going to teach younger women (or children). You summarize the main idea, find key points, and think about how to apply and share it.
I always tell women this: the best Bible study method is the one that helps you actually understand and apply what you read.
It’s not about doing what’s trending—it’s about doing what helps you connect with the Word.
This week, try a new method! I created a little freebie Bible Study Tool Kit (with SOAP and SPECK templates) to help you experiment and find your favorite.
If you’re in the trenches of motherhood with spit-up on your shoulder, three hours of sleep (on a good night), and a toddler clinging to your leg, I see you.
And I want you to hear me loud and clear: you are not failing if your Bible study doesn’t look like it used to.
This sacred season of motherhood—yes, even in its exhaustion—is one the Lord sees.
He’s not asking for quiet time perfection. He’s inviting you into communion, however messy or short it may be.
Isaiah 40:11 says,
“He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young.” (emphasis mine)
What a sweet picture of His gentleness with mothers.
Maybe right now, your study looks like meditating on one verse all day.
Write it on a sticky note and put it on your bathroom mirror or the fridge. Use feeding times or nap rocking as moments to pray that verse or ask the Lord to help you understand it more deeply.
Listen to an audio Bible while folding laundry or playing blocks on the floor (bonus: your kids hear it then too!).
Hang Scripture verse cards in your home where you’ll see them often.
Music counts too! Sing hymns over your home and your heart while loading or unloading the dishwasher.
Quick wins for this season:
- Pick one verse a day and meditate on it (work on memorization, look up the context and make sure you understand the author's intention and meaning so you meditate on truth rather than opinion or incorrect interpretation)
- Use audio Bibles—play it in the background while you’re nursing or changing diapers
- Stick Scripture cards around the house for bite-sized truth
- Pray Scripture during feedings or even during midnight wake-ups (have you seen my Titus 2 or 1 Peter Prayer Cards?)
Most importantly: give yourself grace.
God is not grading your Bible study. He simply desires for your heart to prioritize Him. Even five minutes with the Lord can change your entire day when it’s done in faith.
Let Matthew 11:28 remind you that Jesus beckons you:
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
If you feel like you're reading for a more structured Bible study, reach out to me! I have been praying over the idea of offering customized Bible study plans, based on your style of learning, the time you have available, and what you'd like to study. This would also be an opportunity to learn new Bible study methods to help you dig in deeper.
In the meantime, check out the other digital tools available, and let me know what ONE thing you'll do today to prioritize God in your day!
There’s no greater picture of forgiveness than the cross.
As Jesus hung there, suffering for our sins, He spoke words that still shake me to the core (Luke 23:34):
"Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do"
If Jesus could extend that kind of mercy in His darkest moment, what does that mean for us in our everyday lives—especially in marriage and motherhood?
Forgiveness is hard. When your husband says something hurtful, when your kids push every button you have, when a friend disappoints or hurts you—it’s easy to hold onto resentment.
But sweet friend, withholding forgiveness, hanging on to that resentment and the bitterness that results, only keeps you in bondage.
Jesus didn’t just forgive to be nice; He forgave to set us free. And He calls us to do the same.
In marriage, forgiveness is crucial.
Regardless of how wonderful your husband may be, he will mess up—just like you do.
Choosing to forgive, rather than keeping score, creates an environment of grace where love can thrive.
A practical step? Instead of rehashing past wrongs, choose to focus on solutions and moving forward together.
I know what you might be thinking: "What if he just keeps doing the same thing over and over again?"
That's an entirely different topic, but let's touch on it real quick.
If it's a true sin issue where he is unrepentant, like looking at porn, cheating, getting drunk every night, abuse, or other things that are clear-cut sins, I would encourage you to seek wise, godly, biblical counseling. There are different nuances within each of those issues that go deeper than I can discuss in a blog post.
If it's a personal conviction - or even just personal preference - issue where you don't want him to do something (or TO do something) that he doesn't keep up, I would encourage you to seek God and ask if this is a situation where He is asking YOU to change. Your husband's convictions will likely be different from your own on many topics. You may feel convicted about living a clean, toxin free lifestyle; he may not feel convicted to prioritize that.
Listen, I will be real with you and say this one is a STRUGGLE for me. While it doesn't necessarily require me to forgive my husband, it DOES require me to continue treating him with respect, honor, and love, despite any aggravation I may feel because he's not doing the things I feel convicted that he should be doing.
If you're experiencing anything like that, please reach out to me - I would be honored to walk through this with you and offer any biblical wisdom or godly counsel that I am able.
As moms, we can also model forgiveness for our children.
When they see you forgive quickly and extend grace, they learn to do the same.
A simple way to practice this is by apologizing when you lose our temper or forget to follow through on something, showing them that grace isn’t just something you talk about—it’s something you live.
This also gives them an opportunity to practice forgiveness themselves.
And I can hear another question you might be asking: what if the other person hasn't asked for forgiveness?
Romans 5:8 tells us:
"but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
You didn't ask for forgiveness before Christ gave His life for you.
There are so many others who have been offered forgiveness in Christ that have not asked for His forgiveness - yet it is still extended, available to them, offered freely.
The forgiveness you give FREES YOU from bitterness, resentment, anxiety, anger, and the actual physical manifestations of those things that can wreak havoc on your body and ruin your ability to live out God's will for you.
Let's deal with another question: does forgiveness require me to reconcile?
If the other person is unrepentant in their sin, and maintaining a relationship with them puts you in a situation that is dangerous (emotionally, physically, spiritually), then NO - you are not required to reconcile. Reconciliation takes two people works towards a shared goal of unity in the relationship.
If the other person is repentant and actively desiring reconciliation, and you see fruit of the repentance in their life indicating that a relationship with them could be safe, then I would encourage you to prayerfully consider reconciling with them. Depending on the severity of the sin committed against you, this is absolutely something you will need to seek God's guidance in.
The cross teaches us that forgiveness is powerful. It breaks chains, heals wounds, and brings peace.
As a response to our Easter celebration two weeks ago, focusing on Christ's resurrection, let’s ask God to soften our hearts and help us walk in the freedom that comes with forgiving as we have been forgiven.
