If you find yourself overthinking every decision—afraid that you're always one wrong move from ruining everything—I just want to gently say:
You’re not alone.
You’re not alone.
I talk to so many women who feel stuck in their own heads, second-guessing their choices. The stakes feel high.
Should I homeschool or send them to school?
Should we move or stay?
Is this opportunity from God—or am I just being selfish?
You want to get it right. You want to honor God.
And that’s a good thing.
But when that desire turns into fear—fear of failure, fear of getting it wrong, fear of disappointing someone—you're not walking in freedom anymore.
You're walking in bondage dressed up as “obedience.”
“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” — 2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV)
Sweet friend, God isn’t waiting for you to trip.
He’s not hiding the “right” answer behind Door #3.
In fact, most of the time, the answers we need (or the criteria we need to help us make the right decisions) are right there in Scripture for us - we just have to be willing to diligently study the wise counsel God has already given us.
He’s a generous Father who leads you.
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” — James 1:5
🌿 What’s Really Under the Fear?
Let’s be honest for a second.
Sometimes, the fear of making the wrong decision is rooted in pride.
That might sound harsh—but it’s worth sitting with.
You think:
- I should be able to get this right.
- I don’t want to disappoint anyone.
- What if I mess up God’s plan?
But those thoughts reveal something deeper:
A belief that you have to be perfect... because maybe you don't believe God is.
“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” — Proverbs 16:9
You don’t need to have all the answers.
You need a heart that says:
“Lord, I want to follow You—even if I take a shaky first step.”
🪞What Faithful Decision-Making Looks Like
So if not fear or perfectionism… what does honoring God in our decisions actually look like?
Here’s what I encourage women to walk through:
1. Pray first.
Before the research. Before the social media polls. Before the phone calls.
Sit with the Lord.
“God, I want to honor You. Would You guide me?”
He is not silent.
He is not hiding.
He promises to lead those who seek Him.
2. Seek your husband’s counsel.
If you’re married, this is essential.
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church...” — Ephesians 5:22–23
Your husband isn’t just a sounding board—he’s the God-ordained head of your home. God holds him responsible for the well-being of your family. That’s weighty. And it’s protective.
Invite his insight. Share your heart. Honor his leadership.
If he gives you freedom to decide—praise God. Walk in it.
But what if he makes a final call that’s different from what you wanted?
That’s where submission becomes obedience to the Lord—not just agreement with your husband.
And if that feels hard or frustrating—ask yourself:
Is it truly about honoring God… or just keeping control?
3. Seek wise, godly counsel.
Go beyond the internet.
Ask older women of faith. Ask women who know the Word, not just your situation.
“Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” — Proverbs 11:14
4. Check your motive.
Is the choice you are making because of:
- Fear of man?
- Desire for control?
- Comfort?
Or...
Is this aligned with biblical values, God’s Word, and the convictions He’s been stirring in my heart?
5. Look for peace—not ease.
Peace doesn’t always feel “easy.”
It might still feel scary, uncertain, or uncomfortable.
But it won’t feel frantic, pressured, or panicked.
“And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts...” — Colossians 3:15
When you feel that settled, Spirit-filled calm—even if it’s hard—that’s often your green light.
But a word of caution:
While emotions can be a gift from God, they should never be your final decision-maker.
Let the Word guide your choices—not just your feelings.
6. Make the decision.
Take one step forward.
Even a small one.
God leads people who are moving—not stuck in fear.
He won't force a parked car.
He doesn’t demand perfection. He desires surrender.
“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” — Psalm 119:105
He gives you enough light for the next step—not the entire map. HE knows the entire future; you don't have to.
🌸 A Word of Reassurance
Here’s a quote I love from A.W. Tozer:
“The man or woman who is wholly or joyously surrendered to Christ can’t make a wrong decision. Because a heart that is truly yielded to God’s will won’t deliberately choose rebellion.”
If your heart is surrendered, if you’re actively seeking Him, and if you’re willing to obey—God’s not going to let you miss it.
Even if you make the “less ideal” choice, God is still sovereign.
“We know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” — Romans 8:28
He will redirect you if He wants to.
He can use the detours.
He can work with imperfect choices made in faith.
📝 A Gentle Exercise to Try Today
If you’re feeling stuck or anxious, here’s something simple you can do:
- Write down the decision that’s weighing on you.
- Ask God—out loud or in writing—for wisdom.
- Bring it to your husband. Hear his thoughts with humility and an open mind.
- Reach out to a godly mentor or older woman in the faith.
- Write down any motives you’re noticing in your heart.
- Ask the Lord to help you discern His will and align your desires with His.
- Then take one step. Just one.
You are not failing.
You are not behind.
You are being built—into a woman who trusts God, even in the fog.
You don’t have to be perfect.
You just have to be faithful.
Motherhood has a way of exposing all our insecurities, doesn’t it?
Like every decision is eternal.
Like if we get it wrong today, we’ll ruin tomorrow.
If you're anything like me, you've had moments where you've whispered under your breath,
“What if I’m messing them up?”
“How do I know I’m doing enough?”
“What if I’m messing them up?”
“How do I know I’m doing enough?”
Here’s what I want to remind you (and me):
God never asked us to be flawless. He asked us to be faithful.
God never asked us to be flawless. He asked us to be faithful.
“He will tend his flock like a shepherd;
he will gather the lambs in his arms;
he will carry them in his bosom,
and gently lead those that are with young.”
Isaiah 40:11 isn't just a nice verse. That’s a description of YOUR Heavenly Father, sweet friend.
The Lord isn’t critiquing your performance—He’s gently leading you.
So if you’re in the thick of it today—worn out, unsure, or silently questioning yourself as a mother—here are three ways to shift from fear to faith:
1. Redefine success
Instead of measuring success by outcomes (your child's obedience, behavior, growth charts, or grade levels), ask this instead:
💬 Am I being faithful to teach, love, and point them to Christ?
That’s your job. Not saving them. Not perfect parenting.
Your faithfulness will serve them better than your attempts at being flawless.
2. Let them see you need Jesus too
You don’t have to be the hero in your home—Jesus already is.
Say it out loud:
"Mommy needs grace too."
"I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?"
"I lost my patience, but Jesus is helping me grow."
"Mommy needs grace too."
"I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?"
"I lost my patience, but Jesus is helping me grow."
Your kids don’t need perfection. They need to see repentance in real-time. That’s what forms disciples.
Modeling humility fosters their respect for you, and grows their own humility.
3. Stay rooted in truth
You don’t need more blogs, books, or parenting hacks. You need the Word of God anchoring your heart.
Start small. One chapter a day. Write a verse on a sticky note, or on your phone lock screen.
Let the truth do what only truth can do: renew your mind and steady your spirit.
“He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.” — Psalm 121:3
While you sleep, He watches over you.
While you stir oatmeal, fold laundry, and question everything—you are being kept.
So if today felt messy, pause.
Thank God for His mercy.
And remember this:
His mercies are new every morning—not just for your kids, but for you, too.
His mercies are new every morning—not just for your kids, but for you, too.
You’re not falling behind.
You’re being led.
You’re being led.
You don’t need to do more.
You need to abide more.
You need to abide more.
Take a deep breath.
He’s here in the mess with you.
He’s here in the mess with you.
Let’s Talk About It:
- What lies are you believing about “success” in motherhood?
- What would change if you started each day asking God to lead you gently?
- What Scripture could you cling to this week?
One of the most sacred and silent fears I hear from women is:
“What if my husband never becomes the spiritual leader I pray for?”
That ache runs deep.
It’s often whispered through tears, tucked inside prayer journals, or carried silently in conversations with God.
You long to see your husband flourish in Christ.
You dream of him leading your family with wisdom and strength.
And when it doesn’t happen… it’s easy to drift toward control, resentment, or quiet despair.
But sweet friend — Scripture speaks straight into this place.
🕊 A Word From the Word
1 Peter 3:1–2 (ESV) says:
“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word,
they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives —
when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”
This isn’t a call to silence.
The Greek meaning of "without a word" here means THE Word. It means don't preach Scripture at your husband when he's already not inclined to obey it.
It does not mean to ignore or enable sin. It doesn't mean to hide your concerns, fears, or wisdom.
What it does mean is to use strength in surrender.
It’s not about pretending or performing — it’s about trusting that God is at work, even when you can’t see it.
🙏 Truth You Need to Know
Here’s what I remind women often — and I want you to hear it too:
- Your husband’s sanctification is not your responsibility.
But your response is. - Your role is not to lead him spiritually.
Your role is to honor God faithfully — and let the aroma of Christ be what shapes your home. - You’re not powerless in this.
But your power comes from prayer, not pressure.
Let’s pause here for a moment of reflection. Ask yourself:
- Have I confused spiritual leadership with spiritual performance?
- Am I trying to change him in my timing — instead of trusting God’s?
- Where am I withholding respect because I’m waiting for results?
- IMPORTANT NOTE: As a wife, you are called to respect your husband unconditionally - just as your husband is called to love you unconditionally. Withholding respect until he "earns" it is directly disobeying God's instructions. (Ephesians 5:33)
❤️ What Obedience Looks Like
Here are three areas the Lord may be inviting you to walk in faith:
1. Respect without manipulation.
Are your words building him up — or are you tearing him down quietly in your heart?
“She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” — Proverbs 31:12
2. Prayer without condition.
Are you praying for him every day — or only when you’re upset or disappointed?
“Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.” — Colossians 4:2
3. Trust without striving.
Are you trying to be the Holy Spirit — or letting God be God?
“The Lord takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love.” — Psalm 147:11
✍️ A Gentle Action Step
Let’s take the pressure off and anchor ourselves in prayer.
Today, write down three prayers for your husband.
Not things to fix. Not character traits to force.
But areas where you’re asking God to move.
Then ask yourself:
- What would it look like to trust God with no deadline?
- Can I worship while I wait?
- Can I choose peace even when the story doesn’t look how I hoped?
✨ A Loving Warning: Don’t Wait to Rejoice
There’s one more thing I need to say — gently, but clearly. I learned this the hard way, and I want to spare you some pain.
If your joy is on hold until your husband leads…
If your peace depends on your picture-perfect marriage…
If your heart aches more over his stagnancy than it delights in Christ’s sufficiency…
If your peace depends on your picture-perfect marriage…
If your heart aches more over his stagnancy than it delights in Christ’s sufficiency…
Then it may be time to ask:
Have I made my husband, or my dream of biblical marriage, an idol?
We don’t usually call it that.
It can look like longing. Grief. Disappointment.
But if you believe you can’t be whole, fulfilled, or deeply joyful without him leading spiritually the way you believe he should…
Then you're saying Jesus isn’t enough.
“Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” — Psalm 73:25–26
Marriage is good.
A spiritually mature husband is beautiful.
But he was never meant to be your Savior. And it's unfair to put that expectation on him.
Your fulfillment, purpose, and security were never designed to rest on the shoulders of a man — even a godly one.
That weight belongs only to Christ.
And the good news?
He can carry it.
So let your first love be Jesus.
Let your joy come not from what could be — but from what already is.
Let your worship rise even if your circumstances don’t.
You are known.
You are loved.
You are held.
You are loved.
You are held.
Right here. Right now.
🕯 Final Word
Sweet friend, your hope is not in your husband’s growth.
It’s in the unshakable, all-knowing, always-moving heart of God.
He sees.
He hears.
He’s not slow to act — He’s working in ways you may never fully understand this side of heaven.
He hears.
He’s not slow to act — He’s working in ways you may never fully understand this side of heaven.
“He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:24
So keep planting seeds of faith.
Keep showing up with quiet strength.
And remember: You don’t need a perfect marriage to live a faithful life.
Jesus is enough. And He is with you.
For the wife who wants to walk by faith, even when she doesn’t feel brave.
Fear doesn’t always show up loud.
Sometimes, it comes quietly.
A flicker of doubt in your chest.
A worry you can’t name but still feel.
A lingering thought at bedtime that keeps your eyes open longer than you want.
A worry you can’t name but still feel.
A lingering thought at bedtime that keeps your eyes open longer than you want.
As Christian wives and mothers, you and I know in our heads that God is sovereign.
We can quote the verses (even if we can’t always remember exactly where they are).
We can teach them to our kids.
And yet, our hearts can still feel shaky—especially when we look at our marriages, our children, or the uncertain future ahead.
Maybe you’ve had thoughts like:
- “I’m afraid my husband will never lead spiritually.”
- “What if I’m not doing enough for our kids?”
- “What if I’m failing quietly and no one sees it?”
These are the kinds of fears that don’t usually get posted online. But they’re real. And left unspoken, they grow in the dark.
“But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible.”
— Ephesians 5:13, ESV
The way forward isn’t pretending you're not afraid. It’s learning how to bring fear into the light of God’s Word—and letting truth speak louder.
When fear rises, try this:
1. Name the fear honestly.
Fear feeds on vagueness. Clarity is the first step to freedom.
Ask yourself:
- What is the fear beneath the surface?
- What outcome am I trying to control?
- What do I believe might happen if I let go?
Bring it into the light—not with shame, but with intention.
“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”
— Psalm 56:3, ESV
God isn’t asking you to pretend. He’s inviting you to trust Him, right in the middle of your fear.
2. Identify the lie underneath.
Fear is rarely just about circumstances—it’s about belief.
Ask:
- What lie is this fear trying to make me believe?
- Does this align with who God is—or who I’ve made myself responsible to be?
Here are some common ones (that are often rooted in pride):
- “If I don’t hold everything together, no one will.”
- “I’m the only one who can fix this.”
- “God is good—but maybe not in this situation.”
These aren’t just thoughts—they’re accusations against the character of God. And they must be held up to the light of Scripture.
“You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
— John 8:32, ESV
3. Replace the lie with Scripture—specifically.
It’s not enough to say “God is good.” You need to meet your exact fear with His exact Word.
Try these:
If you fear your husband isn't leading spiritually →
“The king’s heart is a stream of water in the hand of the Lord; he turns it wherever he will.”
— Proverbs 21:1, ESV
If you fear the future →
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God.”
— Isaiah 41:10, ESV
If you fear your own limitations →
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
— 2 Corinthians 12:9, ESV
Choose one verse. Write it down. Say it aloud. Preach it to your heart when fear whispers otherwise.
4. Pray like a daughter—not a hero.
You’re not expected to feel brave all the time. But you are invited to come boldly.
“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”
— 2 Timothy 1:7, ESV
You don’t need to wait until your emotions catch up. Just come as you are and ask Him:
- Help me trust what You say over what I feel.
- Give me discernment to reject lies and cling to truth.
- Give me grace to be faithful—not perfect.
Reflect on this:
- What fear have you been carrying quietly?
- What lie has it been reinforcing?
- What verse speaks directly to that fear?
- What step of obedience would reflect your trust in God—even if the fear hasn’t fully lifted?
Remember - filling your heart and mind with Scripture daily through intentional Bible study will help you to combat fears. The more you study truth, the more you meditate on the truth of Who God is, the less susceptible you are to the lies of the world - or of your own mind.
God doesn’t promise we’ll never feel afraid.
He promises that His presence is greater. His Word is stronger. His Spirit is in us.
And that’s enough to take one more step today—with steadiness, not striving.
🖊️ Want to go deeper?
Write out one fear that’s been sitting quietly in your heart. Then write one verse that tells the truth about it (DM or email me if you need some guidance finding one!). Speak that truth every time the fear resurfaces this week.
You don’t need more self-confidence.
You need more Scripture in the silence.
And He has not left you alone.
You don’t have to feel fearless to be faithful. Just keep walking with the One who holds every moment in His hands.
Let’s be honest…
Home doesn’t always feel like the peaceful haven we imagined when we first got married, or when our first baby was born.
Some days it’s loud. Messy. Heavy.
You’re trying to get dinner on the table while someone’s yelling about socks (or poop if you're a boy mom), and suddenly the idea of a “Christ-centered home” feels more like a distant dream than something you can actually live out..
But here’s what I want you to know:
Jesus doesn’t wait for quiet to enter. He comes right into the noise.
And when you start to intentionally invite Him in, even in small ways—
The atmosphere shifts.
The atmosphere shifts.
So what does a Christ-centered atmosphere actually look like?
It’s not about fresh flowers on the table and a diffuser going (though those things are lovely - we do have a diffuser running every day but my cat eats fresh flowers).
It’s not even about perfect obedience or chore charts with Scripture verses.
At its core, a Christ-centered home is one where:
- God’s Word is known and spoken—regularly, not perfectly
- Prayer is part of real, everyday life, not just a bedtime routine
- Grace is given… and often given again
- Repentance is modeled, not hidden
- Love leads the room—even when emotions are high
Paul said it this way:
“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts…
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.”
— Colossians 3:15–16
And I love that he didn’t say when the kids are cooperating or once everyone’s emotionally regulated.
He just said: let Him rule. Let Him dwell.
5 Ways to Shift the Atmosphere—Without Overhauling Your Life
You don’t need a full schedule overhaul or a family-wide transformation plan.
Small shifts, repeated over time, will do more than one big “spiritual reset” ever could.
Here are five places you could start today:
1. Play worship in the background
When you fill your heart with the truths of God's word, with praise of Him, worship of Him, and gratitude for Him, your heart softens.
And when your heart softens, so does the tone of the whole house.
It doesn’t have to be loud. Just let truth start filling the quiet moments again.
Often, I will pull up a YouTube live stream channel that just has instrumental hymns playing, and I leave it on throughout the day.
2. Put Scripture where you’ll see it
A sticky note on the bathroom mirror. A verse on the fridge.
Or my personal favorite, wall art from Hobby Lobby. 😊
One mom told me her daughter now puts up her own verses after watching her do it.
That’s the fruit of consistency, not perfection.
3. Pray out loud in real-time
It doesn’t have to be deep or long.
It doesn't have to be eloquent or worded perfectly.
Just—“Jesus, help us have peace right now.” Or “Lord, thank You for this moment.” Or "Father, protect the people that ambulance/fire truck is going to help."
These small moments teach your kids Who you run to.
4. Model repentance
One of the most powerful things I’ve ever done as a mom is look my child in the eye and say, “I was wrong. I’m sorry.”
Repentance doesn’t weaken your authority—it strengthens their respect.
5. Speak life on purpose
When tension rises, speak God’s Word out loud into that room.
Even if it’s just you whispering it under your breath while folding towels.
“Life and death are in the power of the tongue…”
— Proverbs 18:21
You’re setting the spiritual temperature, whether you mean to or not.
A Few Questions to Gently Consider
Not to bring shame, but rather clarity.
- What’s being talked about the most in our home?
- What’s playing in the background: news, music, noise, silence?
- What would someone feel if they walked through our front door?
You don’t need a perfect answer. Just an honest one.
Because when Christ is centered, peace begins to grow—even if it’s slow.
Verses to Carry Into the Chaos
🕊 Romans 12:18
“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
🕊 Philippians 4:7
“And the peace of God… will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
“And the peace of God… will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
🕊 Proverbs 24:3–4
“By wisdom a house is built… by knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.”
“By wisdom a house is built… by knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.”
Last Thought, Sweet Friend
You’re not failing if your house feels tense right now. Let's be real...sometimes you do all you can and the tension remains.
You’re not behind spiritually.
And you don’t need to “try harder” to make your home holy.
You just need to keep building—with Jesus at the center.
One verse. One prayer. One act of humility at a time.
Start small. Start again if you need to.
Let Christ fill the chaos.
That’s where peace begins.
✨ Want help getting started?
If you’re not sure what to pray or where to begin…
Grab your free copy of 30 Scriptures to Pray Over Your Home and let God’s Word lead the way.
📩 Download it here!
Grab your free copy of 30 Scriptures to Pray Over Your Home and let God’s Word lead the way.
📩 Download it here!
