In the beginning...
I'm sure you know the story. God creates all the things, then He breathes life into man.
He sees the first male as alone, and decides he needs a helper; then He creates woman FROM man.
Notice the reason woman was created was to be a helper. That role wasn't a result of the fall; it was assigned to her prior to the fall.
On the other hand, what WAS a result of the fall was woman's desire "for" her husband - most understood and recognized as her desire to control him.
As a result, one of the most common struggles for wives is the tendency to take control—over the schedule, the parenting decisions, the finances, the way things are done.
But underneath that need to control is often fear. Fear of failure, fear of chaos, or fear that things won’t go “right” unless she steps in (which - SPOILER - is also a HUGE indication of pride).
But God doesn’t call you to live from a place of fear. He calls you to trust Him—and one way that trust shows up is in how you relate to your husband.
When you spend time renewing your mind in Scripture, you begin to release the tight grip of control and instead gain quiet, Christ-centered confidence.
Confidence in the Lord allows you to respond with grace when your husband leads differently than you would.
I've heard it said that the measure of a woman's trust in God can be seen in how she submits to her husband.
Trusting the Lord helps you speak with wisdom instead of worry. It builds your ability to communicate with love rather than criticism. And most importantly, it strengthens your faith in God’s sovereignty over your home and marriage.
Practical steps in this area might include:
- Choosing not to "correct" every small thing your husband does differently than you.
- Praying before giving your opinion in a tense conversation.
- Trusting your husband with a parenting or financial decision—and supporting him, even if it’s not what you would do.
- Respecting your husband's decisions - even if you think they're completely wrong - because you know God can protect and guide your family THROUGH any decision, wrong or right.
- Meditating on verses like Isaiah 26:3 or Proverbs 3:5–6 that refocus your mind on God’s control, not yours.
Christ-centered confidence isn’t loud, harsh, or forceful. It’s quiet strength that flows from being anchored in the Word.
When you shift from controlling everything to trusting God in everything, your home—and heart—will experience peace like you could never imagine.
Need a little help? Grab the Marriage Scripture Journal—a 4-week guide to help you study full chapters of God’s Word and apply them to your marriage with clarity and confidence.
If you're anything like most wives today, you're trying your best to do it all—manage your home, caring for your children, serve at church, and do your best to love your husband well.
But far too often, those efforts are fueled by pressure, emotion, a sense of "Christian" duty, or even cultural expectations - rather than the truth of God's Word.
And when that’s the case, discouragement usually isn’t far behind.
The role of a godly wife wasn’t designed to be driven by emotion, pride, obligation, or performance. It was designed to be rooted in the truth of Scripture and faith in God.
When a woman renews her mind with the Word of God, everything changes—her tone, her perspective, her posture, and even her purpose.
She begins to see that her role isn’t just about meeting needs or keeping peace (and - spoiler alert - we're called to be MAKERS of peace, not keepers of peace).
The role of a godly wife is about glorifying God through her words, her attitude, and her trust in Him.
But you can't live out that role without understanding what God's Word says - not what other people tell you it says.
Wives who consistently spend time in the Word often begin to notice a shift:
🟣 their respect becomes more intentional
🟣 their love becomes more selfless
🟣 their communication becomes more patient.
Why? Because the Word sanctifies (John 17:17). It reshapes how you think, and therefore how you respond.
If you’ve felt stagnant or frustrated in your role as a wife, ask yourself: am I being shaped by the Word or by the world? Are my thoughts toward my husband rooted in truth, or in emotion?
This week, start small—spend 10–15 minutes reading one passage (Ephesians 5, Proverbs 31, or 1 Peter 3 are great places to begin).
Ask the Lord to show you something specific to apply. Write it down, pray it over your marriage, and revisit it daily.
Over time, you’ll see the transformation—not just in your actions, but in your heart.
I have a confession...
I used to google everything.
Marriage issues? Parenting decisions? Spiritual doubts? I’d type it all in and read a dozen articles—none of which ever fully settled my heart.
Why? Because worldly advice, even if it sounds good, will never satisfy a soul that was made to be led by God.
The Bible is full of wisdom for every area of life—yes, even the messy parts.
The hard conversations. The frustrating toddler years. The lonely seasons in marriage.
And yet so many Christian women are still leaning on influencers and life coaches instead of the Holy Spirit.
Why do you think that is? I have a theory...based solely on my own experience.
I think it's because simply googling and having someone give you a pat answer is SO MUCH EASIER (and requires less brain power) than studying God's Word and using wisdom and discernment.
Buuuuut here's the thing: we were not meant to outsource our spiritual guidance.
When I started replacing worldly advice with God’s Word, things changed.
I wasn’t as reactive anymore. I stopped needing everyone else’s approval (former people-pleasers, unite!). I stopped chasing results and started seeking righteousness.
God’s way is slower, quieter, and sometimes (okay most of the time) harder—but it’s always better.
Next time you’re tempted to scroll for advice, pause and open your Bible.
Ask: What does God say about this? What principle can I find in Scripture? And then—this part’s important—do what it says.
There are many situations in life that aren't specified in the Bible (e.g. "What if my teenager asks to be called by a different pronoun?" or "What should I do if my husband is verbally, spiritually, or physically abusive?"). That's when it's important to be familiar enough with Scripture that you can discern what God's heart would be on a particular topic - and you can point to biblical passages that explain your stance.
NOTE: seeking wise biblical counsel in difficult situations IS OKAY (Proverbs 11:14 tells us there is safety in an abundance of counselors; Proverbs 15:22 says with many advisors plans succeed). I'm not saying you should never seek counsel.
What I AM saying is that you should have a way to "test the spirits" and evaluate that the counsel you're receiving actually is biblical and not just take their word for it because they're "Christian".
The way you do this is by studying and knowing Scripture.
Wisdom isn’t just hearing God’s Word; it’s living it.
So sweet friend, stop settling for shallow or "feel-good" answers. You don’t need another expert opinion.
You need the mind of Christ. And that comes ONLY from His Word (1 Cor. 2:16). That’s where your true freedom is found.
Tell me in the comments: when is a time when you discarded worldly advice in favor of what you knew was biblical instead?
We've been talking all month about different Bible study tools, how to study, how to make it less overwhelming and more "do-able".
But simply studying isn't enough. If we want to be transformed by Scripture, we need to apply what we learn.
That being said, let’s end this month by talking about the “so what” of Bible study—application.
You can read Scripture all day long, use every method under the sun, and fill notebooks with notes—but if you don’t apply what you study, it’s like looking in a mirror and forgetting what you saw (James 1:22-25).
As wives and moms, this matters so much. God didn’t give us His Word just for head knowledge—He gave it to us so we could live it out in our marriage, in how we talk to our kids, in how we serve and speak and forgive.
Here are three simple ways to apply Scripture every week:
Pick One Small Step:
After studying, ask: “Based on this passage, what one thing can I change today?”
Whether it’s holding your tongue in an argument or getting up five minutes earlier to pray, small obedience matters.
Write it in your notes, and think about what exactly you need to hold yourself accountable to the Lord for obeying. That was a tip I was given by one of my BibleArc coaches, and I thought it was super helpful.
Speak it Out Loud:
Tell your husband or a friend what you learned. Sharing helps you remember, and it invites accountability.
This also works when you post about it on social media. Tell the world what you've learned, and maybe you'll teach someone else, too!
Write a Sticky Note Reminder:
Seriously. I’ve had verses stuck to my bathroom mirror, laundry room wall, and even the dash of my car.
You could also use Canva to make a new phone wallpaper or lock screen with your verse!
The goal is to keep the truth in front of your face so it sinks into your heart.
Remember, if you need a little help, check out the FREE Bible Study Toolkit I created to help guide you.
Don’t just study to say you did—study to become more like Christ.
Study to be the wife your husband needs, the mom your kids admire and called blessed, and the woman God created you to be.
You’ve got this, friend. And I’m right here with you.
Does any of this sound familiar?
"I want to study the Bible, but I don't even know where to start."
"I read it, but none of it makes sense to me. I get frustrated and just don't have the energy to try and understand."
"I barely have five minutes to myself; it would take me that long just to get settled down to study."
I talk to so many wives who want to study the Bible more, but they’re frozen before they even start.
Why? Because it feels like too much. Too hard. Too confusing.
And with toddlers tugging at your leg or teenagers needing rides every ten minutes, it’s easy to say, “I'll do it later.”
Let me give you three tools (plus a couple bonus ones!) that can completely change your Bible study rhythm—and make it doable even in the middle of real life.
A Bible Study Template:
Whether it’s SOAP or a printable worksheet with prompts, having something that guides your study step by step saves you from staring at the page wondering where to start.
I used to keep my template printed and tucked into the front pocket of my Bible study notebook. That eventually became paper overflow, and my sweet husband bought me an iPad so that I can keep everything digital.
Now I have digital templates that I duplicate and reuse. It’s like having a Bible study buddy right there with you!
If you haven't seen it yet, I've created a free Bible Study Toolkit for you, with several templates from which you can choose.
If you need help deciding which of those templates to try first, this blog post can help.
A Dedicated Spot:
I used to drag my Bible from the dining room to the couch to the bed—and honestly, I’d end up doing more moving and organizing than studying.
Then I was gifted a Bible Study Bag where I keep my Bible, journal(s), and a box of highlighters and colored pens, which stays next to the couch. That tiny space feels sacred. When my Bible has a home, it reminds me that study has a place in my life.
It's also an easy way to keep everything together when you want to grab it for church, or a group Bible study.
As I mentioned earlier, now I have my iPad so that all of my studying is digital, which helps me even more to keep all that I need in one spot.
A Go-To Translation:
Don’t underestimate how much your Bible translation affects your understanding.
If you’re constantly confused, it might be time to try something different. My recommendation is the ESV, because I have found it to be the most accurate AND the most understandable.
Find a translation that speaks clearly to you so you can focus on studying—not decoding.
BUT - you want to make sure the translation you're reading is one that is true to the original language. I strongly discourage you from making your go-to translation one that is a thought-for-thought version rather than an actual translation from the original language (e.g. The Message). With those, you are getting someone else's idea of what the text means, rather than reading what was actually written.
Those can be helpful when comparing translations, but it's imperative that the translation you primarily study is one that is true to what the authors actually wrote.
Bonus Tools:
Because we're in the digital era, there are many digital tools available that I would highly recommend you check into. The two that I use most often are:
Bible Hub is the first online tool I was taught to use with the original languages. Here's are a few things I love that you can do:
- compare multiple translations at a time
- look up words or phrases in their original language
- research where else the word was used in Scripture
- gain an understanding of the context in which the word was used in a particular passage
- listen to or read sermons from highly distinguished pastors and Bible teachers
- read book summaries, and chapter summaries
- research topical themes and see how they're connected throughout Scripture
- get a bird's eye view of the timeline of the events in the Bible
- look up difficult questions and answers related to a theme or passage
- get a list of Bible study questions for each chapter to help you think critically
BibleArc is a study Bible that I found recently with a lot of different features. It's free for the study Bible portion, but I do have a subscription for the courses. Here are a few of the features I use most:
- look up multiple translations
- access study notes from the different translations
- use tools to create markups, diagrams, notes, phrasing, and arcing
- receive daily insights that give deeper meaning to various passages or answer important questions
- take courses that teach multiple skills necessary to study the Bible deeply
- access a coach with courses that gives feedback on your assignments and helps ensure you grasp the material
While BibleHub is free and BibleArc does have a subscription to access certain features, I would highly encourage both of them.
Bible study doesn’t have to be complicated. It just has to be consistent.
These tools can help you go from overwhelmed and inconsistent, to intentional and transformed.
I'd love to hear which one you're going to start with!
