Stop Overthinking: A Christian Wife’s Guide to Making Wise Decisions

If you find yourself overthinking every decision—afraid that you're always one wrong move from ruining everything—I just want to gently say:
You’re not alone.

I talk to so many women who feel stuck in their own heads, second-guessing their choices. The stakes feel high.

Should I homeschool or send them to school?
Should we move or stay?
Is this opportunity from God—or am I just being selfish?

You want to get it right. You want to honor God.

And that’s a good thing.

But when that desire turns into fear—fear of failure, fear of getting it wrong, fear of disappointing someone—you're not walking in freedom anymore.

You're walking in bondage dressed up as “obedience.”

“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” — 2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV)

Sweet friend, God isn’t waiting for you to trip.

He’s not hiding the “right” answer behind Door #3.

In fact, most of the time, the answers we need (or the criteria we need to help us make the right decisions) are right there in Scripture for us - we just have to be willing to diligently study the wise counsel God has already given us.

He’s a generous Father who leads you.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” — James 1:5

🌿 What’s Really Under the Fear?

Let’s be honest for a second.

Sometimes, the fear of making the wrong decision is rooted in pride.

That might sound harsh—but it’s worth sitting with.

You think:

I should be able to get this right.
I don’t want to disappoint anyone.
What if I mess up God’s plan?

But those thoughts reveal something deeper:

A belief that you have to be perfect... because maybe you don't believe God is.

“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” — Proverbs 16:9

You don’t need to have all the answers.

You need a heart that says:
“Lord, I want to follow You—even if I take a shaky first step.”

🪞What Faithful Decision-Making Looks Like

So if not fear or perfectionism… what does honoring God in our decisions actually look like?

Here’s what I encourage women to walk through:

1. Pray first.

Before the research. Before the social media polls. Before the phone calls.

Sit with the Lord.

“God, I want to honor You. Would You guide me?”

He is not silent.

He is not hiding.

He promises to lead those who seek Him.

2. Seek your husband’s counsel.

If you’re married, this is essential.

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church...” — Ephesians 5:22–23

Your husband isn’t just a sounding board—he’s the God-ordained head of your home. God holds him responsible for the well-being of your family. That’s weighty. And it’s protective.

Invite his insight. Share your heart. Honor his leadership.

If he gives you freedom to decide—praise God. Walk in it.

But what if he makes a final call that’s different from what you wanted?

That’s where submission becomes obedience to the Lord—not just agreement with your husband.

And if that feels hard or frustrating—ask yourself:

Is it truly about honoring God… or just keeping control?

3. Seek wise, godly counsel.

Go beyond the internet.

Ask older women of faith. Ask women who know the Word, not just your situation.

“Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” — Proverbs 11:14

4. Check your motive.

Is the choice you are making because of:

Fear of man?
Desire for control?
Comfort?

Or...

Is this aligned with biblical values, God’s Word, and the convictions He’s been stirring in my heart?

5. Look for peace—not ease.

Peace doesn’t always feel “easy.”

It might still feel scary, uncertain, or uncomfortable.

But it won’t feel frantic, pressured, or panicked.

“And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts...” — Colossians 3:15

When you feel that settled, Spirit-filled calm—even if it’s hard—that’s often your green light.

But a word of caution:

While emotions can be a gift from God, they should never be your final decision-maker.

Let the Word guide your choices—not just your feelings.

6. Make the decision.

Take one step forward.

Even a small one.

God leads people who are moving—not stuck in fear.

He won't force a parked car.

He doesn’t demand perfection. He desires surrender.

“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” — Psalm 119:105

He gives you enough light for the next step—not the entire map. HE knows the entire future; you don't have to.

🌸 A Word of Reassurance

Here’s a quote I love from A.W. Tozer:

“The man or woman who is wholly or joyously surrendered to Christ can’t make a wrong decision. Because a heart that is truly yielded to God’s will won’t deliberately choose rebellion.”

If your heart is surrendered, if you’re actively seeking Him, and if you’re willing to obey—God’s not going to let you miss it.

Even if you make the “less ideal” choice, God is still sovereign.