One of the most sacred and silent fears I hear from women is:
“What if my husband never becomes the spiritual leader I pray for?”
That ache runs deep.
It’s often whispered through tears, tucked inside prayer journals, or carried silently in conversations with God.
You long to see your husband flourish in Christ.
You dream of him leading your family with wisdom and strength.
And when it doesn’t happen… it’s easy to drift toward control, resentment, or quiet despair.
But sweet friend — Scripture speaks straight into this place.
🕊 A Word From the Word
1 Peter 3:1–2 (ESV) says:
“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word,
they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives —
when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”
This isn’t a call to silence.
The Greek meaning of "without a word" here means THE Word. It means don't preach Scripture at your husband when he's already not inclined to obey it.
It does not mean to ignore or enable sin. It doesn't mean to hide your concerns, fears, or wisdom.
What it does mean is to use strength in surrender.
It’s not about pretending or performing — it’s about trusting that God is at work, even when you can’t see it.
🙏 Truth You Need to Know
Here’s what I remind women often — and I want you to hear it too:
- Your husband’s sanctification is not your responsibility.
But your response is. - Your role is not to lead him spiritually.
Your role is to honor God faithfully — and let the aroma of Christ be what shapes your home. - You’re not powerless in this.
But your power comes from prayer, not pressure.
Let’s pause here for a moment of reflection. Ask yourself:
- Have I confused spiritual leadership with spiritual performance?
- Am I trying to change him in my timing — instead of trusting God’s?
- Where am I withholding respect because I’m waiting for results?
- IMPORTANT NOTE: As a wife, you are called to respect your husband unconditionally - just as your husband is called to love you unconditionally. Withholding respect until he "earns" it is directly disobeying God's instructions. (Ephesians 5:33)
❤️ What Obedience Looks Like
Here are three areas the Lord may be inviting you to walk in faith:
1. Respect without manipulation.
Are your words building him up — or are you tearing him down quietly in your heart?
“She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” — Proverbs 31:12
2. Prayer without condition.
Are you praying for him every day — or only when you’re upset or disappointed?
“Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.” — Colossians 4:2
3. Trust without striving.
Are you trying to be the Holy Spirit — or letting God be God?
“The Lord takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love.” — Psalm 147:11
✍️ A Gentle Action Step
Let’s take the pressure off and anchor ourselves in prayer.
Today, write down three prayers for your husband.
Not things to fix. Not character traits to force.
But areas where you’re asking God to move.
Then ask yourself:
- What would it look like to trust God with no deadline?
- Can I worship while I wait?
- Can I choose peace even when the story doesn’t look how I hoped?
✨ A Loving Warning: Don’t Wait to Rejoice
There’s one more thing I need to say — gently, but clearly. I learned this the hard way, and I want to spare you some pain.
If your joy is on hold until your husband leads…
If your peace depends on your picture-perfect marriage…
If your heart aches more over his stagnancy than it delights in Christ’s sufficiency…
If your peace depends on your picture-perfect marriage…
If your heart aches more over his stagnancy than it delights in Christ’s sufficiency…
Then it may be time to ask:
Have I made my husband, or my dream of biblical marriage, an idol?
We don’t usually call it that.
It can look like longing. Grief. Disappointment.
But if you believe you can’t be whole, fulfilled, or deeply joyful without him leading spiritually the way you believe he should…
Then you're saying Jesus isn’t enough.
“Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” — Psalm 73:25–26
Marriage is good.
A spiritually mature husband is beautiful.
But he was never meant to be your Savior. And it's unfair to put that expectation on him.
Your fulfillment, purpose, and security were never designed to rest on the shoulders of a man — even a godly one.
That weight belongs only to Christ.
And the good news?
He can carry it.
So let your first love be Jesus.
Let your joy come not from what could be — but from what already is.
Let your worship rise even if your circumstances don’t.
You are known.
You are loved.
You are held.
You are loved.
You are held.
Right here. Right now.
🕯 Final Word
Sweet friend, your hope is not in your husband’s growth.
It’s in the unshakable, all-knowing, always-moving heart of God.
He sees.
He hears.
He’s not slow to act — He’s working in ways you may never fully understand this side of heaven.
He hears.
He’s not slow to act — He’s working in ways you may never fully understand this side of heaven.
“He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:24
So keep planting seeds of faith.
Keep showing up with quiet strength.
And remember: You don’t need a perfect marriage to live a faithful life.
Jesus is enough. And He is with you.
There are few things more frustrating than running into the same marriage issues over and over again.
Potty-training comes to mind as one of those few things, but that's a different topic entirely. 🤣
Whether it’s poor (or nonexistent) communication, resentment, unmet expectations, lack of leadership, or drifting intimacy, the root problems in marriage often feel complex—but many of them actually trace back to our mindset and our heart posture.
That’s where renewing your mind through the Word becomes powerful.
Scripture doesn’t just teach behavior modification—it transforms you from the inside out.
When you turn to the Bible for wisdom instead of turning only to other people for advice, you will start seeing deeper solutions to the struggles you face in your marriage.
Let’s look at a few examples:
- Communication struggles? James 1:19 reminds us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.
- Bitterness or unforgiveness? Ephesians 4:31–32 calls us to put away all bitterness and instead be kind and forgiving.
- Missing intimacy or drifting connection? 1 Corinthians 13:4–7 paints a picture of love that is patient, selfless, and not easily offended. (That one is TOUGH.)
- Lack of leadership? 1 Peter 3 instructs wives to submit to their husbands - even those who disobey the Word - out of reverence and obedience to God, not because their husbands are perfect leaders (this godly submission on your part is one way to influence your husband to grow in leadership, and grow towards Christ).
- Feeling purposeless? Titus 2 describes the role of older women teaching the younger - so whether you're in the "older" category, your role is to teach the younger the things listed in that passage, and if you're in the "younger" category, your role is to spend time learning those things and implementing them well within your home and family.
God’s Word is practical, powerful, and personal.
When you take time to meditate on His truth and apply it—even to small situations in your marriage—you'll notice yourself responding differently intuitively.
You'll become more aware of your tone. You'll notice when you're assuming something without actual facts behind it. You'll slow down and seek understanding and wisdom.
And as you change, it will create space for healing and growth in your marriage.
Not only will you notice yourself changing, more than likely your husband will notice too - and God can use that to draw your husband to Himself.
This week:
Choose one challenge you’ve been facing and look up 2–3 verses that speak into that issue.
Write them down and pray over them daily.
The Word won’t return void (Isaiah 55:11)—it will accomplish exactly what God intends.
Need some help getting started? I created a free Marriage Scripture Journal to help you dig into God's Word. Grab your copy at the link below.
Now that we're well into Spring, and Easter is on the horizon, there's a good chance you're either planning your Resurrection Day celebration dinner with family, your Easter Egg hunts, or you're just trying to stop sneezing and be able to breathe with all the pollen. (Maybe that last one is just me.)
I'd like to invite you to consider something different about this season of Easter.
Easter is all about new beginnings. Jesus didn’t stay in the tomb—He rose to bring new life, a life in eternal glory with Him!
And just like He brought renewal to the world, He is able to bring renewal to our marriages too.
Let’s be real—marriage can feel stale at times.
The daily grind of life, unspoken frustrations, and the busyness of raising kids can take a toll. All of a sudden you realize - marriage feels HARD.
So how can you experience the fresh renewal that Easter represents in your marriage?
First, let’s look at what renewal actually means. It’s not about ignoring issues or pretending things are perfect.
In Romans 12:2, Paul tells us,
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind
How are we transformed? By the renewal of our minds.
This "renewal" means a change of heart or mind. It requires intention (along with the work of the Holy Spirit - we can do nothing without Him).
According to BibleHub.com, "{Renewal} implies a restoration to a former state or an improvement to a new and better condition."
Did you catch that? A restoration to a former state - when you first got married - or an improvement to a NEW and BETTER condition.
Can you imagine your marriage renewed and even better than it was?!
Renewal comes when we invite Jesus into the broken places and allow Him to breathe new life into them.
Just as He overcame death, He can overcome the struggles in our marriages—whether that’s communication breakdowns, unmet expectations, or emotional distance.
This does require intention on your part. While Jesus is capable of miracles that don't involve action on our part, most of the miracles He performed included others taking on certain tasks as well.
One way to seek renewal in your marriage is through forgiveness.
Jesus’ death and resurrection made way for our sins to be forgiven, and He calls you to extend that same grace to your husband.
Holding onto bitterness keeps you stuck, but choosing to forgive—even when it’s hard—opens the door for healing.
To avoid that bitterness from creeping back in, it's imperative that you develop the habit of thinking the BEST of your husband, rather than assuming the worst. For example, when he forgets something, extend the same grace God offers to you, and assume your husband was simply forgetful, rather than neglectful or uncaring.
Another step is intentionally reconnecting.
Plan a date night (even if you're always the one to plan them - that may be a strength you have that he doesn't, so lean into your strength), leave a sweet note, take on a task that he normally completes or you know he dislikes, or simply take a few moments each day to laugh together.
Small efforts can bring a fresh sense of connection. It's usually those daily, small efforts that get forgotten in the daily busy-ness of life, so they're important to intentionally bring back.
And most importantly, pray for your marriage.
Ask God to renew your love, restore joy, and help you both grow together in Him.
Ask your husband what he is currently praying for, or what he would love to have you pray for him. That simple connection alone, knowing that you're in his corner appealing to God on his behalf, can bring so much restoration to your marriage.
Easter reminds us that nothing is too far gone for Jesus to restore.
As we lean into His resurrection power, we can experience a marriage that isn’t just surviving but thriving.
If you'd like to dive deeper into this, be sure to check out the 7-Day Spring Clean Your Marriage challenge! This is a challenge you can begin at any time - and repeat as often as you'd like - to clear out what isn't working, bring back what used to work, and create new habits that will strengthen and fortify your marriage. Click the link below for more information!
Now that Valentine's Day is well behind us, let’s talk about spreading love beyond our marriage.
We tend to focus on romantic love during Valentine's season, but Scripture calls us to love everyone - including our enemies. THAT one is tough.
As moms and just women who live in community with others, we have so many opportunities to show Christ’s love to our kids and the world around us.
The best part is that it doesn’t have to be complicated or overwhelming.
Start with your kids. Show love through intentional moments—for younger kids that might be:
- reading a favorite book together,
- playing a game
- asking about their day
- having a dance party
- baking together
For older kids, it might mean:
- sending an encouraging text
- leaving a sticky note on their mirror
- looking into their eyes as they share about something important, rather than looking at the phone or the clock
- going on a coffee date
Love is in the details, and it’s often the small, consistent acts that mean the most.
In your community, think about how you can be a light. Maybe it’s:
- baking cookies for a neighbor (or buying some if you aren't a baker!)
- volunteering at your church
- simply smiling at the cashier who looks like she’s had a long day
- leaving a larger-than-usual tip if you go out to eat
- writing an encouraging note and leaving it on the counter in a public restroom
These acts of love don’t just bless others; they also fill your heart with joy.
As adults, we don't often think about our "enemies", unless there is someone against whom we might be holding a grudge or hanging onto bitterness.
Some ways you can love your "enemies" might be to:
- pray intentionally and fervently for them (if you're no longer in contact with them)
- smile and show kindness (if it's someone you still see occasionally)
- send them an anonymous gift (Amazon works great for that)
- write them a note of forgiveness
This week, make a plan to show love intentionally. Write down one way to bless your kids (each of them if you have multiple!), one way to love someone in your community, and one person you'd consider an "enemy" to whom you can show Christ's love.
Keep it simple and achievable—this shouldn't add stress to your life.
Let’s be women who live out God’s love in every relationship.
This not only glorifies God, but as you step out in faith and obedience, you will grow in spiritual maturity and wisdom.
One act of love at a time can make a world of difference.
Sweet sister, have you ever thought about how much God’s love shapes your marriage?
I'm sure you've had thoughts about God bringing the right man to you to marry, maybe you've thanked Him for leading you to your husband, or maybe you've wondered if you actually did marry the right man.
But have you thought about how His love - His godly, enduring, long-suffering, faithful, selfless, servant-hearted love - daily affects your marriage?
God's love is the cornerstone, the glue, and the safety net all rolled into one.
Without His love, we’re left striving and falling short.
But when God’s love is your foundation - meaning it's the motivating factor behind every action and response you have towards your husband - everything changes.
God’s love is unconditional—it doesn’t depend on how well you “perform” as a wife. And that same unconditional love is what should spur you on to extend grace when your husband messes up, forgets something, hurts your feelings, disappoints you, or when you're in the middle of a heated argument.
It’s a love that chooses (intentionally, meaning you do have control over your ability to do this) forgiveness over bitterness and encouragement over criticism.
One of my favorite verses is 1 John 4:19:
We love because He first loved us.
As Christians, one of our goals is to become more Christlike each and every day.
Knowing that Christ loved you first, and you want to be more like Him, you should also desire to "go first" in your marriage - apologize first, respect first, organize date nights first, extend the olive branch first.
When you’re feeling worn out or unappreciated, let this truth sink in: God’s love isn’t only for you to receive; it’s for you to reflect. As Proverbs 11:25 reminds us:
One who waters will himself be watered.
When you water your marriage, you will be watered. When you reflect God's love to your husband, it creates a safe space for growth, healing, and joy.
This week, take time to rest in God’s love for you.
Meditate on Scripture, journal your thoughts, and ask the Lord to open your eyes to His love for you.
Then, look for opportunities to allow that love to overflow into your marriage—whether it’s a kind word, a forgiving heart, or a simple hug.
Bonus points for finding ways to specifically love your husband in his own love language.
Let’s anchor our marriages in God’s love and watch Him do amazing things through us.
