One of the most sacred and silent fears I hear from women is:
“What if my husband never becomes the spiritual leader I pray for?”
That ache runs deep.
It’s often whispered through tears, tucked inside prayer journals, or carried silently in conversations with God.
You long to see your husband flourish in Christ.
You dream of him leading your family with wisdom and strength.
And when it doesn’t happen… it’s easy to drift toward control, resentment, or quiet despair.
But sweet friend — Scripture speaks straight into this place.
🕊 A Word From the Word
1 Peter 3:1–2 (ESV) says:
“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word,
they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives —
when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”
This isn’t a call to silence.
The Greek meaning of "without a word" here means THE Word. It means don't preach Scripture at your husband when he's already not inclined to obey it.
It does not mean to ignore or enable sin. It doesn't mean to hide your concerns, fears, or wisdom.
What it does mean is to use strength in surrender.
It’s not about pretending or performing — it’s about trusting that God is at work, even when you can’t see it.
🙏 Truth You Need to Know
Here’s what I remind women often — and I want you to hear it too:
- Your husband’s sanctification is not your responsibility.
But your response is. - Your role is not to lead him spiritually.
Your role is to honor God faithfully — and let the aroma of Christ be what shapes your home. - You’re not powerless in this.
But your power comes from prayer, not pressure.
Let’s pause here for a moment of reflection. Ask yourself:
- Have I confused spiritual leadership with spiritual performance?
- Am I trying to change him in my timing — instead of trusting God’s?
- Where am I withholding respect because I’m waiting for results?
- IMPORTANT NOTE: As a wife, you are called to respect your husband unconditionally - just as your husband is called to love you unconditionally. Withholding respect until he "earns" it is directly disobeying God's instructions. (Ephesians 5:33)
❤️ What Obedience Looks Like
Here are three areas the Lord may be inviting you to walk in faith:
1. Respect without manipulation.
Are your words building him up — or are you tearing him down quietly in your heart?
“She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” — Proverbs 31:12
2. Prayer without condition.
Are you praying for him every day — or only when you’re upset or disappointed?
“Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.” — Colossians 4:2
3. Trust without striving.
Are you trying to be the Holy Spirit — or letting God be God?
“The Lord takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love.” — Psalm 147:11
✍️ A Gentle Action Step
Let’s take the pressure off and anchor ourselves in prayer.
Today, write down three prayers for your husband.
Not things to fix. Not character traits to force.
But areas where you’re asking God to move.
Then ask yourself:
- What would it look like to trust God with no deadline?
- Can I worship while I wait?
- Can I choose peace even when the story doesn’t look how I hoped?
✨ A Loving Warning: Don’t Wait to Rejoice
There’s one more thing I need to say — gently, but clearly. I learned this the hard way, and I want to spare you some pain.
If your joy is on hold until your husband leads…
If your peace depends on your picture-perfect marriage…
If your heart aches more over his stagnancy than it delights in Christ’s sufficiency…
If your peace depends on your picture-perfect marriage…
If your heart aches more over his stagnancy than it delights in Christ’s sufficiency…
Then it may be time to ask:
Have I made my husband, or my dream of biblical marriage, an idol?
We don’t usually call it that.
It can look like longing. Grief. Disappointment.
But if you believe you can’t be whole, fulfilled, or deeply joyful without him leading spiritually the way you believe he should…
Then you're saying Jesus isn’t enough.
“Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” — Psalm 73:25–26
Marriage is good.
A spiritually mature husband is beautiful.
But he was never meant to be your Savior. And it's unfair to put that expectation on him.
Your fulfillment, purpose, and security were never designed to rest on the shoulders of a man — even a godly one.
That weight belongs only to Christ.
And the good news?
He can carry it.
So let your first love be Jesus.
Let your joy come not from what could be — but from what already is.
Let your worship rise even if your circumstances don’t.
You are known.
You are loved.
You are held.
You are loved.
You are held.
Right here. Right now.
🕯 Final Word
Sweet friend, your hope is not in your husband’s growth.
It’s in the unshakable, all-knowing, always-moving heart of God.
He sees.
He hears.
He’s not slow to act — He’s working in ways you may never fully understand this side of heaven.
He hears.
He’s not slow to act — He’s working in ways you may never fully understand this side of heaven.
“He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:24
So keep planting seeds of faith.
Keep showing up with quiet strength.
And remember: You don’t need a perfect marriage to live a faithful life.
Jesus is enough. And He is with you.
For the wife who wants to walk by faith, even when she doesn’t feel brave.
Fear doesn’t always show up loud.
Sometimes, it comes quietly.
A flicker of doubt in your chest.
A worry you can’t name but still feel.
A lingering thought at bedtime that keeps your eyes open longer than you want.
A worry you can’t name but still feel.
A lingering thought at bedtime that keeps your eyes open longer than you want.
As Christian wives and mothers, you and I know in our heads that God is sovereign.
We can quote the verses (even if we can’t always remember exactly where they are).
We can teach them to our kids.
And yet, our hearts can still feel shaky—especially when we look at our marriages, our children, or the uncertain future ahead.
Maybe you’ve had thoughts like:
- “I’m afraid my husband will never lead spiritually.”
- “What if I’m not doing enough for our kids?”
- “What if I’m failing quietly and no one sees it?”
These are the kinds of fears that don’t usually get posted online. But they’re real. And left unspoken, they grow in the dark.
“But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible.”
— Ephesians 5:13, ESV
The way forward isn’t pretending you're not afraid. It’s learning how to bring fear into the light of God’s Word—and letting truth speak louder.
When fear rises, try this:
1. Name the fear honestly.
Fear feeds on vagueness. Clarity is the first step to freedom.
Ask yourself:
- What is the fear beneath the surface?
- What outcome am I trying to control?
- What do I believe might happen if I let go?
Bring it into the light—not with shame, but with intention.
“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”
— Psalm 56:3, ESV
God isn’t asking you to pretend. He’s inviting you to trust Him, right in the middle of your fear.
2. Identify the lie underneath.
Fear is rarely just about circumstances—it’s about belief.
Ask:
- What lie is this fear trying to make me believe?
- Does this align with who God is—or who I’ve made myself responsible to be?
Here are some common ones (that are often rooted in pride):
- “If I don’t hold everything together, no one will.”
- “I’m the only one who can fix this.”
- “God is good—but maybe not in this situation.”
These aren’t just thoughts—they’re accusations against the character of God. And they must be held up to the light of Scripture.
“You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
— John 8:32, ESV
3. Replace the lie with Scripture—specifically.
It’s not enough to say “God is good.” You need to meet your exact fear with His exact Word.
Try these:
If you fear your husband isn't leading spiritually →
“The king’s heart is a stream of water in the hand of the Lord; he turns it wherever he will.”
— Proverbs 21:1, ESV
If you fear the future →
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God.”
— Isaiah 41:10, ESV
If you fear your own limitations →
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
— 2 Corinthians 12:9, ESV
Choose one verse. Write it down. Say it aloud. Preach it to your heart when fear whispers otherwise.
4. Pray like a daughter—not a hero.
You’re not expected to feel brave all the time. But you are invited to come boldly.
“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”
— 2 Timothy 1:7, ESV
You don’t need to wait until your emotions catch up. Just come as you are and ask Him:
- Help me trust what You say over what I feel.
- Give me discernment to reject lies and cling to truth.
- Give me grace to be faithful—not perfect.
Reflect on this:
- What fear have you been carrying quietly?
- What lie has it been reinforcing?
- What verse speaks directly to that fear?
- What step of obedience would reflect your trust in God—even if the fear hasn’t fully lifted?
Remember - filling your heart and mind with Scripture daily through intentional Bible study will help you to combat fears. The more you study truth, the more you meditate on the truth of Who God is, the less susceptible you are to the lies of the world - or of your own mind.
God doesn’t promise we’ll never feel afraid.
He promises that His presence is greater. His Word is stronger. His Spirit is in us.
And that’s enough to take one more step today—with steadiness, not striving.
🖊️ Want to go deeper?
Write out one fear that’s been sitting quietly in your heart. Then write one verse that tells the truth about it (DM or email me if you need some guidance finding one!). Speak that truth every time the fear resurfaces this week.
You don’t need more self-confidence.
You need more Scripture in the silence.
And He has not left you alone.
You don’t have to feel fearless to be faithful. Just keep walking with the One who holds every moment in His hands.
Let’s be honest…
Home doesn’t always feel like the peaceful haven we imagined when we first got married, or when our first baby was born.
Some days it’s loud. Messy. Heavy.
You’re trying to get dinner on the table while someone’s yelling about socks (or poop if you're a boy mom), and suddenly the idea of a “Christ-centered home” feels more like a distant dream than something you can actually live out..
But here’s what I want you to know:
Jesus doesn’t wait for quiet to enter. He comes right into the noise.
And when you start to intentionally invite Him in, even in small ways—
The atmosphere shifts.
The atmosphere shifts.
So what does a Christ-centered atmosphere actually look like?
It’s not about fresh flowers on the table and a diffuser going (though those things are lovely - we do have a diffuser running every day but my cat eats fresh flowers).
It’s not even about perfect obedience or chore charts with Scripture verses.
At its core, a Christ-centered home is one where:
- God’s Word is known and spoken—regularly, not perfectly
- Prayer is part of real, everyday life, not just a bedtime routine
- Grace is given… and often given again
- Repentance is modeled, not hidden
- Love leads the room—even when emotions are high
Paul said it this way:
“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts…
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.”
— Colossians 3:15–16
And I love that he didn’t say when the kids are cooperating or once everyone’s emotionally regulated.
He just said: let Him rule. Let Him dwell.
5 Ways to Shift the Atmosphere—Without Overhauling Your Life
You don’t need a full schedule overhaul or a family-wide transformation plan.
Small shifts, repeated over time, will do more than one big “spiritual reset” ever could.
Here are five places you could start today:
1. Play worship in the background
When you fill your heart with the truths of God's word, with praise of Him, worship of Him, and gratitude for Him, your heart softens.
And when your heart softens, so does the tone of the whole house.
It doesn’t have to be loud. Just let truth start filling the quiet moments again.
Often, I will pull up a YouTube live stream channel that just has instrumental hymns playing, and I leave it on throughout the day.
2. Put Scripture where you’ll see it
A sticky note on the bathroom mirror. A verse on the fridge.
Or my personal favorite, wall art from Hobby Lobby. 😊
One mom told me her daughter now puts up her own verses after watching her do it.
That’s the fruit of consistency, not perfection.
3. Pray out loud in real-time
It doesn’t have to be deep or long.
It doesn't have to be eloquent or worded perfectly.
Just—“Jesus, help us have peace right now.” Or “Lord, thank You for this moment.” Or "Father, protect the people that ambulance/fire truck is going to help."
These small moments teach your kids Who you run to.
4. Model repentance
One of the most powerful things I’ve ever done as a mom is look my child in the eye and say, “I was wrong. I’m sorry.”
Repentance doesn’t weaken your authority—it strengthens their respect.
5. Speak life on purpose
When tension rises, speak God’s Word out loud into that room.
Even if it’s just you whispering it under your breath while folding towels.
“Life and death are in the power of the tongue…”
— Proverbs 18:21
You’re setting the spiritual temperature, whether you mean to or not.
A Few Questions to Gently Consider
Not to bring shame, but rather clarity.
- What’s being talked about the most in our home?
- What’s playing in the background: news, music, noise, silence?
- What would someone feel if they walked through our front door?
You don’t need a perfect answer. Just an honest one.
Because when Christ is centered, peace begins to grow—even if it’s slow.
Verses to Carry Into the Chaos
🕊 Romans 12:18
“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
🕊 Philippians 4:7
“And the peace of God… will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
“And the peace of God… will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
🕊 Proverbs 24:3–4
“By wisdom a house is built… by knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.”
“By wisdom a house is built… by knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.”
Last Thought, Sweet Friend
You’re not failing if your house feels tense right now. Let's be real...sometimes you do all you can and the tension remains.
You’re not behind spiritually.
And you don’t need to “try harder” to make your home holy.
You just need to keep building—with Jesus at the center.
One verse. One prayer. One act of humility at a time.
Start small. Start again if you need to.
Let Christ fill the chaos.
That’s where peace begins.
✨ Want help getting started?
If you’re not sure what to pray or where to begin…
Grab your free copy of 30 Scriptures to Pray Over Your Home and let God’s Word lead the way.
📩 Download it here!
Grab your free copy of 30 Scriptures to Pray Over Your Home and let God’s Word lead the way.
📩 Download it here!
If you're anything like me, you've had moments walking through your home thinking, this place feels tense… or tired… or spiritually flat.
Our homes are where spiritual battles play out quietly. Not with loud explosions, but with subtle discouragement, constant noise, confusion, and distraction.
Often those battles are discreet enough that we don't even recognize them as ones requiring God's strength. We try to fight through them on our own, and then wonder why we're so exhausted.
But here’s the good news: you don’t need to stay stuck.
You can push back darkness with the light of God's Word.
You can speak peace, protection, and truth over every room in your house — not with your own strength, but with the strength of the Lord through His Word.
This is what it means to pray Scripture over your home.
And it's simpler than you might think.
🟣 What Does It Mean to Pray Scripture?
Praying Scripture means you’re using God’s words, not just your own, to speak truth into your environment.
It’s not just asking for blessings — it’s aligning your home with what God has already promised.
When you pray Scripture, you’re not guessing. You’re asking for things that are in God's will for you, your home, and your family, because He's written those things Himself.
You’re taking verses off the page and planting them in real places — the kitchen, the nursery, the bedroom, the front door.
And here’s why that matters:
“The word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword…”
— Hebrews 4:12 (ESV)
God’s Word is not passive. It pushes back the lies. It softens hearts. It shifts atmospheres.
🟣 A Simple Way to Pray Over Your Home
You don’t need incense (it's toxic anyway) or oils (although essential oils are biblical and helpful!) or a long list of rituals.
You just need an open Bible and a willing heart.
Here’s a simple practice I often suggest:
1. Pick one room in your home.
Walk in slowly. Look around. Ask God, What needs to shift in this space?
2. Choose a Scripture that matches the need.
Here are a few to get you started:
- Living room (Peace + unity):
“And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts…” — Colossians 3:15
- Kitchen (Provision + gratitude):
“You open your hand; you satisfy the desire of every living thing.” — Psalm 145:16
- Children’s bedrooms (Rest + protection):
“In peace I will both lie down and sleep…” — Psalm 4:8
- Marriage space (Love + strength):
“Above all these put on love, which binds everything together…” — Colossians 3:14
- Front door (Safety + direction):
“The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in…” — Psalm 121:8
3. Pray it out loud.
Yes — out loud. Not for theatrics, but for authority.
Romans 10:17 says:
“So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.”
4. Personalize the verse.
Turn it into a prayer in your own words:
“Lord, let peace rule in this space. Let every conversation in this room be filled with grace and truth. Let your Word dwell richly here.”
5. Repeat as needed.
You don’t have to do your whole house in one day. This can be a weekly rhythm — or something you do when things feel “off” in your home.
🟣 I've Heard From Moms Who...
...taped verses to their children’s light switches as reminders before bed.
...left open Bibles on their kitchen counters to shift the spiritual climate.
...played Scripture audio through a speaker while cleaning or homeschooling.
...paused at the front door and whispered, “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want,” before heading out for the day.
None of these things were flashy.
But they were faithful.
And faithfulness in hidden places is where strong homes are built.
🟣 When You Don’t Know What to Pray
Here’s the beautiful thing: you don’t need the perfect words. You just need the right source.
Open the Psalms. Read one verse. Ask the Holy Spirit to apply it to your home. Speak it.
Even something as simple as this:
“Lord, let our home be a place where your peace reigns. Let your Word dwell here richly. Teach us to walk in your ways. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
That’s it. That’s prayer that calls on the One who moves mountains.
🟣 Scripture to Keep In Your Heart
- Joshua 24:15
“But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
- Proverbs 24:3–4
“By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established…”
- Psalm 127:1
“Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.”
Let Him be the builder. You just keep showing up.
🟣 Final Thought:
Mama, your prayers may feel quiet, but they are not powerless.
You’re not just cleaning your home — you’re consecrating it.
You’re not just organizing toys — you’re ordering the atmosphere.
You’re not just decorating rooms — you’re declaring truth in every corner.
You don’t need to be loud. But you can be bold.
Start today — pick a room, pick a verse, and pray out loud.
And if you need help choosing Scriptures, this month’s freebie was made just for you.
In the beginning...
I'm sure you know the story. God creates all the things, then He breathes life into man.
He sees the first male as alone, and decides he needs a helper; then He creates woman FROM man.
Notice the reason woman was created was to be a helper. That role wasn't a result of the fall; it was assigned to her prior to the fall.
On the other hand, what WAS a result of the fall was woman's desire "for" her husband - most understood and recognized as her desire to control him.
As a result, one of the most common struggles for wives is the tendency to take control—over the schedule, the parenting decisions, the finances, the way things are done.
But underneath that need to control is often fear. Fear of failure, fear of chaos, or fear that things won’t go “right” unless she steps in (which - SPOILER - is also a HUGE indication of pride).
But God doesn’t call you to live from a place of fear. He calls you to trust Him—and one way that trust shows up is in how you relate to your husband.
When you spend time renewing your mind in Scripture, you begin to release the tight grip of control and instead gain quiet, Christ-centered confidence.
Confidence in the Lord allows you to respond with grace when your husband leads differently than you would.
I've heard it said that the measure of a woman's trust in God can be seen in how she submits to her husband.
Trusting the Lord helps you speak with wisdom instead of worry. It builds your ability to communicate with love rather than criticism. And most importantly, it strengthens your faith in God’s sovereignty over your home and marriage.
Practical steps in this area might include:
- Choosing not to "correct" every small thing your husband does differently than you.
- Praying before giving your opinion in a tense conversation.
- Trusting your husband with a parenting or financial decision—and supporting him, even if it’s not what you would do.
- Respecting your husband's decisions - even if you think they're completely wrong - because you know God can protect and guide your family THROUGH any decision, wrong or right.
- Meditating on verses like Isaiah 26:3 or Proverbs 3:5–6 that refocus your mind on God’s control, not yours.
Christ-centered confidence isn’t loud, harsh, or forceful. It’s quiet strength that flows from being anchored in the Word.
When you shift from controlling everything to trusting God in everything, your home—and heart—will experience peace like you could never imagine.
Need a little help? Grab the Marriage Scripture Journal—a 4-week guide to help you study full chapters of God’s Word and apply them to your marriage with clarity and confidence.
