In the beginning...
I'm sure you know the story. God creates all the things, then He breathes life into man.
He sees the first male as alone, and decides he needs a helper; then He creates woman FROM man.
Notice the reason woman was created was to be a helper. That role wasn't a result of the fall; it was assigned to her prior to the fall.
On the other hand, what WAS a result of the fall was woman's desire "for" her husband - most understood and recognized as her desire to control him.
As a result, one of the most common struggles for wives is the tendency to take control—over the schedule, the parenting decisions, the finances, the way things are done.
But underneath that need to control is often fear. Fear of failure, fear of chaos, or fear that things won’t go “right” unless she steps in (which - SPOILER - is also a HUGE indication of pride).
But God doesn’t call you to live from a place of fear. He calls you to trust Him—and one way that trust shows up is in how you relate to your husband.
When you spend time renewing your mind in Scripture, you begin to release the tight grip of control and instead gain quiet, Christ-centered confidence.
Confidence in the Lord allows you to respond with grace when your husband leads differently than you would.
I've heard it said that the measure of a woman's trust in God can be seen in how she submits to her husband.
Trusting the Lord helps you speak with wisdom instead of worry. It builds your ability to communicate with love rather than criticism. And most importantly, it strengthens your faith in God’s sovereignty over your home and marriage.
Practical steps in this area might include:
- Choosing not to "correct" every small thing your husband does differently than you.
- Praying before giving your opinion in a tense conversation.
- Trusting your husband with a parenting or financial decision—and supporting him, even if it’s not what you would do.
- Respecting your husband's decisions - even if you think they're completely wrong - because you know God can protect and guide your family THROUGH any decision, wrong or right.
- Meditating on verses like Isaiah 26:3 or Proverbs 3:5–6 that refocus your mind on God’s control, not yours.
Christ-centered confidence isn’t loud, harsh, or forceful. It’s quiet strength that flows from being anchored in the Word.
When you shift from controlling everything to trusting God in everything, your home—and heart—will experience peace like you could never imagine.
Need a little help? Grab the Marriage Scripture Journal—a 4-week guide to help you study full chapters of God’s Word and apply them to your marriage with clarity and confidence.
If you're anything like most wives today, you're trying your best to do it all—manage your home, caring for your children, serve at church, and do your best to love your husband well.
But far too often, those efforts are fueled by pressure, emotion, a sense of "Christian" duty, or even cultural expectations - rather than the truth of God's Word.
And when that’s the case, discouragement usually isn’t far behind.
The role of a godly wife wasn’t designed to be driven by emotion, pride, obligation, or performance. It was designed to be rooted in the truth of Scripture and faith in God.
When a woman renews her mind with the Word of God, everything changes—her tone, her perspective, her posture, and even her purpose.
She begins to see that her role isn’t just about meeting needs or keeping peace (and - spoiler alert - we're called to be MAKERS of peace, not keepers of peace).
The role of a godly wife is about glorifying God through her words, her attitude, and her trust in Him.
But you can't live out that role without understanding what God's Word says - not what other people tell you it says.
Wives who consistently spend time in the Word often begin to notice a shift:
🟣 their respect becomes more intentional
🟣 their love becomes more selfless
🟣 their communication becomes more patient.
Why? Because the Word sanctifies (John 17:17). It reshapes how you think, and therefore how you respond.
If you’ve felt stagnant or frustrated in your role as a wife, ask yourself: am I being shaped by the Word or by the world? Are my thoughts toward my husband rooted in truth, or in emotion?
This week, start small—spend 10–15 minutes reading one passage (Ephesians 5, Proverbs 31, or 1 Peter 3 are great places to begin).
Ask the Lord to show you something specific to apply. Write it down, pray it over your marriage, and revisit it daily.
Over time, you’ll see the transformation—not just in your actions, but in your heart.
I have a confession...
I used to google everything.
Marriage issues? Parenting decisions? Spiritual doubts? I’d type it all in and read a dozen articles—none of which ever fully settled my heart.
Why? Because worldly advice, even if it sounds good, will never satisfy a soul that was made to be led by God.
The Bible is full of wisdom for every area of life—yes, even the messy parts.
The hard conversations. The frustrating toddler years. The lonely seasons in marriage.
And yet so many Christian women are still leaning on influencers and life coaches instead of the Holy Spirit.
Why do you think that is? I have a theory...based solely on my own experience.
I think it's because simply googling and having someone give you a pat answer is SO MUCH EASIER (and requires less brain power) than studying God's Word and using wisdom and discernment.
Buuuuut here's the thing: we were not meant to outsource our spiritual guidance.
When I started replacing worldly advice with God’s Word, things changed.
I wasn’t as reactive anymore. I stopped needing everyone else’s approval (former people-pleasers, unite!). I stopped chasing results and started seeking righteousness.
God’s way is slower, quieter, and sometimes (okay most of the time) harder—but it’s always better.
Next time you’re tempted to scroll for advice, pause and open your Bible.
Ask: What does God say about this? What principle can I find in Scripture? And then—this part’s important—do what it says.
There are many situations in life that aren't specified in the Bible (e.g. "What if my teenager asks to be called by a different pronoun?" or "What should I do if my husband is verbally, spiritually, or physically abusive?"). That's when it's important to be familiar enough with Scripture that you can discern what God's heart would be on a particular topic - and you can point to biblical passages that explain your stance.
NOTE: seeking wise biblical counsel in difficult situations IS OKAY (Proverbs 11:14 tells us there is safety in an abundance of counselors; Proverbs 15:22 says with many advisors plans succeed). I'm not saying you should never seek counsel.
What I AM saying is that you should have a way to "test the spirits" and evaluate that the counsel you're receiving actually is biblical and not just take their word for it because they're "Christian".
The way you do this is by studying and knowing Scripture.
Wisdom isn’t just hearing God’s Word; it’s living it.
So sweet friend, stop settling for shallow or "feel-good" answers. You don’t need another expert opinion.
You need the mind of Christ. And that comes ONLY from His Word (1 Cor. 2:16). That’s where your true freedom is found.
Tell me in the comments: when is a time when you discarded worldly advice in favor of what you knew was biblical instead?
I have a confession...
I am very, very easily influenced.
For many years, I used to take someone’s word for it when it came to Scripture. If it was in a bestselling book, a Christian podcast, or spoken from a pulpit, I assumed it had to be true.
But eventually, I started hearing things that didn’t sit right.
Promises that sounded too good.
“Truths” that contradicted each other.
I realized I needed to know the Bible for myself.
Sweet friend, we live in a time where false teaching is everywhere—and it doesn’t always sound false. It’s often mixed with just enough truth to make it seem right.
Remember how Satan first deceived Eve? In Genesis 3:1, he asked her, "Did God really say you must not eat of any tree in the garden?"
Notice, Satan didn't just flat out lie; he used what was partially true to create confusion in Eve. She responded in the next few verses saying that God also told them not to touch the tree of life - which He hadn't.
Let's keep in mind at this point that God's instructions were given directly to Adam, before Eve was created - so she is hearing them second-hand from him.
My point is two-fold:
First, we need to be reading the Bible for ourselves. If Eve had heard firsthand from God what His instructions were, she would have been better able to recognize Satan's deception tactics.
Which leads me to my second point: we must be on guard against anything that seems Christian, or simply sounds biblical, and diligently study Scripture for truth before making a decision or standing firm on a topic.
God doesn’t want us to be led by clever words or viral reels. He wants us rooted in His Word, unshaken and discerning.
Bible literacy—the ability to study, interpret, and apply Scripture—is our guardrail against deception.
As wives and moms, we are often the spiritual thermostat of the home. If we’re filling ourselves with half-truths, shallow interpretations, or worldly wisdom dressed up as “Christian,” we can throw our whole family off course.
But when we know Scripture deeply, we are able to recognize what isn’t of God. We can teach our kids truth. We can lovingly challenge our husbands in grace. We can stand firm when culture shifts.
If you don’t know where to start, try reading one book of the Bible slowly and deeply. Check out this link for a graphic that breaks down exactly how long it takes the average person to read each book of the Bible. According to that article, "Did you know that many of those books can be read in less than an hour? 40 out of the 66 books (61% of the books) can each be read in less than an hour? In fact, some of the books will take the average reader 2 minutes to read."
And yet we often claim we don't have time to read the Bible.
Use the SOAP or Verse Mapping method to help you engage. Check out the free Bible Study Toolkit to learn more about those and other ways to help you engage with and intentionally study God's Word.
Follow along with a solid Bible teacher, but always go back to the text. If you need a list of recommended teachers, this list by Michelle Lesley is a great place to start.
Finally, ask God to sharpen your discernment. James 1:5 tells us that if we lack wisdom, we should ask God, because He gives generously and without reproach. That means we can ask again, and again, and again, and God will never fault us for not having enough wisdom and needing to ask for more. He will patiently supply the wisdom we need, when we need it...when we ask.
Sweet friend, there is so much freedom in not being easily swayed anymore. Are you ready to have that freedom? Let's dig into the Word together! Share with me what you're most interested in learning about from Scripture!
