If you're anything like most wives today, you're trying your best to do it all—manage your home, caring for your children, serve at church, and do your best to love your husband well.
But far too often, those efforts are fueled by pressure, emotion, a sense of "Christian" duty, or even cultural expectations - rather than the truth of God's Word.
And when that’s the case, discouragement usually isn’t far behind.
The role of a godly wife wasn’t designed to be driven by emotion, pride, obligation, or performance. It was designed to be rooted in the truth of Scripture and faith in God.
When a woman renews her mind with the Word of God, everything changes—her tone, her perspective, her posture, and even her purpose.
She begins to see that her role isn’t just about meeting needs or keeping peace (and - spoiler alert - we're called to be MAKERS of peace, not keepers of peace).
The role of a godly wife is about glorifying God through her words, her attitude, and her trust in Him.
But you can't live out that role without understanding what God's Word says - not what other people tell you it says.
Wives who consistently spend time in the Word often begin to notice a shift:
🟣 their respect becomes more intentional
🟣 their love becomes more selfless
🟣 their communication becomes more patient.
Why? Because the Word sanctifies (John 17:17). It reshapes how you think, and therefore how you respond.
If you’ve felt stagnant or frustrated in your role as a wife, ask yourself: am I being shaped by the Word or by the world? Are my thoughts toward my husband rooted in truth, or in emotion?
This week, start small—spend 10–15 minutes reading one passage (Ephesians 5, Proverbs 31, or 1 Peter 3 are great places to begin).
Ask the Lord to show you something specific to apply. Write it down, pray it over your marriage, and revisit it daily.
Over time, you’ll see the transformation—not just in your actions, but in your heart.
I have a confession...
I used to google everything.
Marriage issues? Parenting decisions? Spiritual doubts? I’d type it all in and read a dozen articles—none of which ever fully settled my heart.
Why? Because worldly advice, even if it sounds good, will never satisfy a soul that was made to be led by God.
The Bible is full of wisdom for every area of life—yes, even the messy parts.
The hard conversations. The frustrating toddler years. The lonely seasons in marriage.
And yet so many Christian women are still leaning on influencers and life coaches instead of the Holy Spirit.
Why do you think that is? I have a theory...based solely on my own experience.
I think it's because simply googling and having someone give you a pat answer is SO MUCH EASIER (and requires less brain power) than studying God's Word and using wisdom and discernment.
Buuuuut here's the thing: we were not meant to outsource our spiritual guidance.
When I started replacing worldly advice with God’s Word, things changed.
I wasn’t as reactive anymore. I stopped needing everyone else’s approval (former people-pleasers, unite!). I stopped chasing results and started seeking righteousness.
God’s way is slower, quieter, and sometimes (okay most of the time) harder—but it’s always better.
Next time you’re tempted to scroll for advice, pause and open your Bible.
Ask: What does God say about this? What principle can I find in Scripture? And then—this part’s important—do what it says.
There are many situations in life that aren't specified in the Bible (e.g. "What if my teenager asks to be called by a different pronoun?" or "What should I do if my husband is verbally, spiritually, or physically abusive?"). That's when it's important to be familiar enough with Scripture that you can discern what God's heart would be on a particular topic - and you can point to biblical passages that explain your stance.
NOTE: seeking wise biblical counsel in difficult situations IS OKAY (Proverbs 11:14 tells us there is safety in an abundance of counselors; Proverbs 15:22 says with many advisors plans succeed). I'm not saying you should never seek counsel.
What I AM saying is that you should have a way to "test the spirits" and evaluate that the counsel you're receiving actually is biblical and not just take their word for it because they're "Christian".
The way you do this is by studying and knowing Scripture.
Wisdom isn’t just hearing God’s Word; it’s living it.
So sweet friend, stop settling for shallow or "feel-good" answers. You don’t need another expert opinion.
You need the mind of Christ. And that comes ONLY from His Word (1 Cor. 2:16). That’s where your true freedom is found.
Tell me in the comments: when is a time when you discarded worldly advice in favor of what you knew was biblical instead?
I have a confession...
I am very, very easily influenced.
For many years, I used to take someone’s word for it when it came to Scripture. If it was in a bestselling book, a Christian podcast, or spoken from a pulpit, I assumed it had to be true.
But eventually, I started hearing things that didn’t sit right.
Promises that sounded too good.
“Truths” that contradicted each other.
I realized I needed to know the Bible for myself.
Sweet friend, we live in a time where false teaching is everywhere—and it doesn’t always sound false. It’s often mixed with just enough truth to make it seem right.
Remember how Satan first deceived Eve? In Genesis 3:1, he asked her, "Did God really say you must not eat of any tree in the garden?"
Notice, Satan didn't just flat out lie; he used what was partially true to create confusion in Eve. She responded in the next few verses saying that God also told them not to touch the tree of life - which He hadn't.
Let's keep in mind at this point that God's instructions were given directly to Adam, before Eve was created - so she is hearing them second-hand from him.
My point is two-fold:
First, we need to be reading the Bible for ourselves. If Eve had heard firsthand from God what His instructions were, she would have been better able to recognize Satan's deception tactics.
Which leads me to my second point: we must be on guard against anything that seems Christian, or simply sounds biblical, and diligently study Scripture for truth before making a decision or standing firm on a topic.
God doesn’t want us to be led by clever words or viral reels. He wants us rooted in His Word, unshaken and discerning.
Bible literacy—the ability to study, interpret, and apply Scripture—is our guardrail against deception.
As wives and moms, we are often the spiritual thermostat of the home. If we’re filling ourselves with half-truths, shallow interpretations, or worldly wisdom dressed up as “Christian,” we can throw our whole family off course.
But when we know Scripture deeply, we are able to recognize what isn’t of God. We can teach our kids truth. We can lovingly challenge our husbands in grace. We can stand firm when culture shifts.
If you don’t know where to start, try reading one book of the Bible slowly and deeply. Check out this link for a graphic that breaks down exactly how long it takes the average person to read each book of the Bible. According to that article, "Did you know that many of those books can be read in less than an hour? 40 out of the 66 books (61% of the books) can each be read in less than an hour? In fact, some of the books will take the average reader 2 minutes to read."
And yet we often claim we don't have time to read the Bible.
Use the SOAP or Verse Mapping method to help you engage. Check out the free Bible Study Toolkit to learn more about those and other ways to help you engage with and intentionally study God's Word.
Follow along with a solid Bible teacher, but always go back to the text. If you need a list of recommended teachers, this list by Michelle Lesley is a great place to start.
Finally, ask God to sharpen your discernment. James 1:5 tells us that if we lack wisdom, we should ask God, because He gives generously and without reproach. That means we can ask again, and again, and again, and God will never fault us for not having enough wisdom and needing to ask for more. He will patiently supply the wisdom we need, when we need it...when we ask.
Sweet friend, there is so much freedom in not being easily swayed anymore. Are you ready to have that freedom? Let's dig into the Word together! Share with me what you're most interested in learning about from Scripture!
Considering I talk a LOT about marriage and being a godly wife, I need to make a confession:
There was a season where I believed he was the problem. If only my husband were more "this" or did "that" less… then I could be the wife I wanted to be.
But the real turning point came when I stopped focusing on changing him and started studying God’s Word to change me.
(If I'm being really honest, this is still something I struggle with, and I need to remind myself that my goal of studying is so that I can learn and obey better, not to have ammunition against my husband or anyone else.)
The Bible is not a marriage advice book—it’s a heart transformation book.
When I got serious about studying it, making it my goal to learn more about God, what He desires for us and from us (especially with my marriage in mind), He started breaking chains I didn’t even know were there.
Chains of selfishness, bitterness, control.
Chains of unrealistic expectations and silent scorekeeping.
As I read Scripture, I realized that submission isn’t about being weak—it's about trusting God’s order.
Respect isn’t optional—it is my act of worship.
Sweet friend, if you’re in a tough season with your husband, I want to challenge you to go to Scripture first, not social media or even your closest girlfriend.
Ask God to show you what it means to be a helper, not a fixer.
Study the examples of women in the Bible—some got it right, some didn’t, but all of it points us back to Christ.
(Check out my dear friend Tania's deep study on this called The Helper - it's wonderful!)
One practical thing that may help you is keeping a marriage study journal.
As you read and study your Bible, ask God, “What do I need to do differently as a wife based on this?” Consider the applications you should make in your marriage, then journal what you're committed to doing and the passage you studied that brought it to light.
God’s Word will do the heavy lifting. You just have to keep showing up with a heart seeking truth and willing to change.
When I first heard the phrase “freedom in Christ,” I honestly thought it meant I didn’t have to follow a bunch of rules anymore.
I thought freedom meant no guilt, no standards, and no pressure.
But the more I studied Scripture for myself, the more I realized that freedom in Christ isn’t about doing what I want—it’s about finally being free to do what He created me to do.
As a wife and mom, that truth hit me hard - it still hits me hard when I really meditate on it.
I used to feel chained to expectations—mine, my husband’s, my kids’, the world’s.
I tried to be the perfect wife, the fun mom, the Pinterest-worthy homemaker. I was exhausted and still falling short.
But John 8:32 says,
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
Once I started getting in the Word daily, not just reading devotionals or settling for a verse-of-the-day, but really studying the Bible, I realized I had misunderstood freedom.
Freedom in Christ doesn’t mean I’m free from responsibility—it means I’m free within my calling.
I'm free from sin; I can't use the excuse that "I can't help myself" when I'm tempted to disobey, or to avoid an act of obedience.
1 Corinthians 10:13 reminds us,
"God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability"
I'm free from the "need" to please others, to be "just as good" at everything, and mostly importantly, I'm free from the need to control everything (the peace that comes when you recognize you're free from control because God Himself is in control...whew. THAT is peace beyond all comprehension!).
God’s Word gives me the boundaries I need to thrive in marriage, motherhood, and womanhood.
Scripture instructs me how to love my husband selflessly, how to train up my children, and how to fight the pull of sin - without trying to do it all in my own strength.
That’s real freedom.
If you’re feeling trapped—by shame, expectations, resentment, the tendency to control, or any other sin—I want to encourage you to open your Bible today.
Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal truth and freedom through it.
Pick a passage (maybe start in Romans 6!) and ask:
- What does this tell me about who Christ is?
- What does this tell me about what He desires from or for me?
- What lie have I been believing that this verse frees me from?
Truth is the key, friend. You don’t have to stay in bondage one more day, but you DO have to take responsibility for seeking that truth out in Scripture for yourself.
