Considering I talk a LOT about marriage and being a godly wife, I need to make a confession:
There was a season where I believed he was the problem. If only my husband were more "this" or did "that" less… then I could be the wife I wanted to be.
But the real turning point came when I stopped focusing on changing him and started studying God’s Word to change me.
(If I'm being really honest, this is still something I struggle with, and I need to remind myself that my goal of studying is so that I can learn and obey better, not to have ammunition against my husband or anyone else.)
The Bible is not a marriage advice book—it’s a heart transformation book.
When I got serious about studying it, making it my goal to learn more about God, what He desires for us and from us (especially with my marriage in mind), He started breaking chains I didn’t even know were there.
Chains of selfishness, bitterness, control.
Chains of unrealistic expectations and silent scorekeeping.
As I read Scripture, I realized that submission isn’t about being weak—it's about trusting God’s order.
Respect isn’t optional—it is my act of worship.
Sweet friend, if you’re in a tough season with your husband, I want to challenge you to go to Scripture first, not social media or even your closest girlfriend.
Ask God to show you what it means to be a helper, not a fixer.
Study the examples of women in the Bible—some got it right, some didn’t, but all of it points us back to Christ.
(Check out my dear friend Tania's deep study on this called The Helper - it's wonderful!)
One practical thing that may help you is keeping a marriage study journal.
As you read and study your Bible, ask God, “What do I need to do differently as a wife based on this?” Consider the applications you should make in your marriage, then journal what you're committed to doing and the passage you studied that brought it to light.
God’s Word will do the heavy lifting. You just have to keep showing up with a heart seeking truth and willing to change.
When I first heard the phrase “freedom in Christ,” I honestly thought it meant I didn’t have to follow a bunch of rules anymore.
I thought freedom meant no guilt, no standards, and no pressure.
But the more I studied Scripture for myself, the more I realized that freedom in Christ isn’t about doing what I want—it’s about finally being free to do what He created me to do.
As a wife and mom, that truth hit me hard - it still hits me hard when I really meditate on it.
I used to feel chained to expectations—mine, my husband’s, my kids’, the world’s.
I tried to be the perfect wife, the fun mom, the Pinterest-worthy homemaker. I was exhausted and still falling short.
But John 8:32 says,
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
Once I started getting in the Word daily, not just reading devotionals or settling for a verse-of-the-day, but really studying the Bible, I realized I had misunderstood freedom.
Freedom in Christ doesn’t mean I’m free from responsibility—it means I’m free within my calling.
I'm free from sin; I can't use the excuse that "I can't help myself" when I'm tempted to disobey, or to avoid an act of obedience.
1 Corinthians 10:13 reminds us,
"God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability"
I'm free from the "need" to please others, to be "just as good" at everything, and mostly importantly, I'm free from the need to control everything (the peace that comes when you recognize you're free from control because God Himself is in control...whew. THAT is peace beyond all comprehension!).
God’s Word gives me the boundaries I need to thrive in marriage, motherhood, and womanhood.
Scripture instructs me how to love my husband selflessly, how to train up my children, and how to fight the pull of sin - without trying to do it all in my own strength.
That’s real freedom.
If you’re feeling trapped—by shame, expectations, resentment, the tendency to control, or any other sin—I want to encourage you to open your Bible today.
Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal truth and freedom through it.
Pick a passage (maybe start in Romans 6!) and ask:
- What does this tell me about who Christ is?
- What does this tell me about what He desires from or for me?
- What lie have I been believing that this verse frees me from?
Truth is the key, friend. You don’t have to stay in bondage one more day, but you DO have to take responsibility for seeking that truth out in Scripture for yourself.
We've been talking all month about different Bible study tools, how to study, how to make it less overwhelming and more "do-able".
But simply studying isn't enough. If we want to be transformed by Scripture, we need to apply what we learn.
That being said, let’s end this month by talking about the “so what” of Bible study—application.
You can read Scripture all day long, use every method under the sun, and fill notebooks with notes—but if you don’t apply what you study, it’s like looking in a mirror and forgetting what you saw (James 1:22-25).
As wives and moms, this matters so much. God didn’t give us His Word just for head knowledge—He gave it to us so we could live it out in our marriage, in how we talk to our kids, in how we serve and speak and forgive.
Here are three simple ways to apply Scripture every week:
Pick One Small Step:
After studying, ask: “Based on this passage, what one thing can I change today?”
Whether it’s holding your tongue in an argument or getting up five minutes earlier to pray, small obedience matters.
Write it in your notes, and think about what exactly you need to hold yourself accountable to the Lord for obeying. That was a tip I was given by one of my BibleArc coaches, and I thought it was super helpful.
Speak it Out Loud:
Tell your husband or a friend what you learned. Sharing helps you remember, and it invites accountability.
This also works when you post about it on social media. Tell the world what you've learned, and maybe you'll teach someone else, too!
Write a Sticky Note Reminder:
Seriously. I’ve had verses stuck to my bathroom mirror, laundry room wall, and even the dash of my car.
You could also use Canva to make a new phone wallpaper or lock screen with your verse!
The goal is to keep the truth in front of your face so it sinks into your heart.
Remember, if you need a little help, check out the FREE Bible Study Toolkit I created to help guide you.
Don’t just study to say you did—study to become more like Christ.
Study to be the wife your husband needs, the mom your kids admire and called blessed, and the woman God created you to be.
You’ve got this, friend. And I’m right here with you.
I remember the first time I used the SOAP method.
I signed up to lead an online Bible study for a group of women through Good Morning Girls. I didn't even know what a Bible study "method" was, I wasn't familiar with Good Morning Girls, I just knew I needed...something.
And what better way to stay accountable than to lead it, right?
It felt awkward at first—I wasn’t used to writing things out, making my own observations, figuring out for myself how to apply the passage, or praying the Scripture back to God.
But let me tell you: the fruit of that one tiny shift? Incredible.
Before SOAP, I was a check-the-box girl - if even that. I’d read a devotional, briefly skim the one verse included, take in what the author had to say, and then check off the box, satisfied that I'd done my duty.
My heart wasn’t changing, my responses weren’t growing in wisdom, and my marriage wasn’t being shaped by the Word I claimed to believe (but honestly - I didn't really even know it).
After SOAP, everything slowed down. I was no longer just reading—I was studying. Observing. Listening. Applying.
I started seeing where I needed to be more discerning with my husband (how to respect, but also how not enable or submit to abuse - this was all during my second marriage, so this is no reflection on my sweet husband that I'm married to now). I saw where I needed to speak more gently to my kids. Where my trust in the Lord was shaky and needed to grow.
SOAP helped me to see more of God in the Bible.
Here’s how it looks:
- S - Scripture: Write out the verse or passage, or summarize it.
- O - Observation: What stands out? Who is this about? What is the tone, the promise, the command? What sins should I avoid, what instructions should I obey? What truth is this revealing about man, Christ, God, or something else?
- A - Application: How can I apply this to my life as a wife, mom, or daughter of God?
- P - Prayer: Talk to God about what you’ve learned and ask Him to help you live it out.
SOAP was just the beginning; I've since discovered so many other study methods like Verse Mapping, the Bible Digest method, the 7 Lenses, SPECK, and more.
Currently I'm taking a course in Phrasing: breaking down a passage into each individual phrase, labeling the types of phrases and seeing how they all work together to relay the main message the author intended to convey. It's fascinating and helps me see how much more I will always have to learn about God's Word!
This week, try SOAP with a passage like Titus 2:3-5 or Ephesians 1 Peter 3:1-7.
And I do mean take a WEEK. Don't try to do it all in one sitting. Remember, the goal isn't to just check the box and be done for the day. The goal is to learn more about God and be transformed by His Word.
Take 10 minutes a day, or longer if you have it, and just see what happens as you intentionally focus on studying Scripture daily.
I promise—it’s a game-changer.
And when you find that you love it and you're ready to dig into another method, I'll be here for you!
Does any of this sound familiar?
"I want to study the Bible, but I don't even know where to start."
"I read it, but none of it makes sense to me. I get frustrated and just don't have the energy to try and understand."
"I barely have five minutes to myself; it would take me that long just to get settled down to study."
I talk to so many wives who want to study the Bible more, but they’re frozen before they even start.
Why? Because it feels like too much. Too hard. Too confusing.
And with toddlers tugging at your leg or teenagers needing rides every ten minutes, it’s easy to say, “I'll do it later.”
Let me give you three tools (plus a couple bonus ones!) that can completely change your Bible study rhythm—and make it doable even in the middle of real life.
A Bible Study Template:
Whether it’s SOAP or a printable worksheet with prompts, having something that guides your study step by step saves you from staring at the page wondering where to start.
I used to keep my template printed and tucked into the front pocket of my Bible study notebook. That eventually became paper overflow, and my sweet husband bought me an iPad so that I can keep everything digital.
Now I have digital templates that I duplicate and reuse. It’s like having a Bible study buddy right there with you!
If you haven't seen it yet, I've created a free Bible Study Toolkit for you, with several templates from which you can choose.
If you need help deciding which of those templates to try first, this blog post can help.
A Dedicated Spot:
I used to drag my Bible from the dining room to the couch to the bed—and honestly, I’d end up doing more moving and organizing than studying.
Then I was gifted a Bible Study Bag where I keep my Bible, journal(s), and a box of highlighters and colored pens, which stays next to the couch. That tiny space feels sacred. When my Bible has a home, it reminds me that study has a place in my life.
It's also an easy way to keep everything together when you want to grab it for church, or a group Bible study.
As I mentioned earlier, now I have my iPad so that all of my studying is digital, which helps me even more to keep all that I need in one spot.
A Go-To Translation:
Don’t underestimate how much your Bible translation affects your understanding.
If you’re constantly confused, it might be time to try something different. My recommendation is the ESV, because I have found it to be the most accurate AND the most understandable.
Find a translation that speaks clearly to you so you can focus on studying—not decoding.
BUT - you want to make sure the translation you're reading is one that is true to the original language. I strongly discourage you from making your go-to translation one that is a thought-for-thought version rather than an actual translation from the original language (e.g. The Message). With those, you are getting someone else's idea of what the text means, rather than reading what was actually written.
Those can be helpful when comparing translations, but it's imperative that the translation you primarily study is one that is true to what the authors actually wrote.
Bonus Tools:
Because we're in the digital era, there are many digital tools available that I would highly recommend you check into. The two that I use most often are:
Bible Hub is the first online tool I was taught to use with the original languages. Here's are a few things I love that you can do:
- compare multiple translations at a time
- look up words or phrases in their original language
- research where else the word was used in Scripture
- gain an understanding of the context in which the word was used in a particular passage
- listen to or read sermons from highly distinguished pastors and Bible teachers
- read book summaries, and chapter summaries
- research topical themes and see how they're connected throughout Scripture
- get a bird's eye view of the timeline of the events in the Bible
- look up difficult questions and answers related to a theme or passage
- get a list of Bible study questions for each chapter to help you think critically
BibleArc is a study Bible that I found recently with a lot of different features. It's free for the study Bible portion, but I do have a subscription for the courses. Here are a few of the features I use most:
- look up multiple translations
- access study notes from the different translations
- use tools to create markups, diagrams, notes, phrasing, and arcing
- receive daily insights that give deeper meaning to various passages or answer important questions
- take courses that teach multiple skills necessary to study the Bible deeply
- access a coach with courses that gives feedback on your assignments and helps ensure you grasp the material
While BibleHub is free and BibleArc does have a subscription to access certain features, I would highly encourage both of them.
Bible study doesn’t have to be complicated. It just has to be consistent.
These tools can help you go from overwhelmed and inconsistent, to intentional and transformed.
I'd love to hear which one you're going to start with!
