One of the most sacred and silent fears I hear from women is:
“What if my husband never becomes the spiritual leader I pray for?”
That ache runs deep.
It’s often whispered through tears, tucked inside prayer journals, or carried silently in conversations with God.
You long to see your husband flourish in Christ.
You dream of him leading your family with wisdom and strength.
And when it doesn’t happen… it’s easy to drift toward control, resentment, or quiet despair.
But sweet friend — Scripture speaks straight into this place.
🕊 A Word From the Word
1 Peter 3:1–2 (ESV) says:
“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word,
they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives —
when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”
This isn’t a call to silence.
The Greek meaning of "without a word" here means THE Word. It means don't preach Scripture at your husband when he's already not inclined to obey it.
It does not mean to ignore or enable sin. It doesn't mean to hide your concerns, fears, or wisdom.
What it does mean is to use strength in surrender.
It’s not about pretending or performing — it’s about trusting that God is at work, even when you can’t see it.
🙏 Truth You Need to Know
Here’s what I remind women often — and I want you to hear it too:
- Your husband’s sanctification is not your responsibility.
But your response is. - Your role is not to lead him spiritually.
Your role is to honor God faithfully — and let the aroma of Christ be what shapes your home. - You’re not powerless in this.
But your power comes from prayer, not pressure.
Let’s pause here for a moment of reflection. Ask yourself:
- Have I confused spiritual leadership with spiritual performance?
- Am I trying to change him in my timing — instead of trusting God’s?
- Where am I withholding respect because I’m waiting for results?
- IMPORTANT NOTE: As a wife, you are called to respect your husband unconditionally - just as your husband is called to love you unconditionally. Withholding respect until he "earns" it is directly disobeying God's instructions. (Ephesians 5:33)
❤️ What Obedience Looks Like
Here are three areas the Lord may be inviting you to walk in faith:
1. Respect without manipulation.
Are your words building him up — or are you tearing him down quietly in your heart?
“She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” — Proverbs 31:12
2. Prayer without condition.
Are you praying for him every day — or only when you’re upset or disappointed?
“Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.” — Colossians 4:2
3. Trust without striving.
Are you trying to be the Holy Spirit — or letting God be God?
“The Lord takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love.” — Psalm 147:11
✍️ A Gentle Action Step
Let’s take the pressure off and anchor ourselves in prayer.
Today, write down three prayers for your husband.
Not things to fix. Not character traits to force.
But areas where you’re asking God to move.
Then ask yourself:
- What would it look like to trust God with no deadline?
- Can I worship while I wait?
- Can I choose peace even when the story doesn’t look how I hoped?
✨ A Loving Warning: Don’t Wait to Rejoice
There’s one more thing I need to say — gently, but clearly. I learned this the hard way, and I want to spare you some pain.
If your joy is on hold until your husband leads…
If your peace depends on your picture-perfect marriage…
If your heart aches more over his stagnancy than it delights in Christ’s sufficiency…
If your peace depends on your picture-perfect marriage…
If your heart aches more over his stagnancy than it delights in Christ’s sufficiency…
Then it may be time to ask:
Have I made my husband, or my dream of biblical marriage, an idol?
We don’t usually call it that.
It can look like longing. Grief. Disappointment.
But if you believe you can’t be whole, fulfilled, or deeply joyful without him leading spiritually the way you believe he should…
Then you're saying Jesus isn’t enough.
“Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” — Psalm 73:25–26
Marriage is good.
A spiritually mature husband is beautiful.
But he was never meant to be your Savior. And it's unfair to put that expectation on him.
Your fulfillment, purpose, and security were never designed to rest on the shoulders of a man — even a godly one.
That weight belongs only to Christ.
And the good news?
He can carry it.
So let your first love be Jesus.
Let your joy come not from what could be — but from what already is.
Let your worship rise even if your circumstances don’t.
You are known.
You are loved.
You are held.
You are loved.
You are held.
Right here. Right now.
🕯 Final Word
Sweet friend, your hope is not in your husband’s growth.
It’s in the unshakable, all-knowing, always-moving heart of God.
He sees.
He hears.
He’s not slow to act — He’s working in ways you may never fully understand this side of heaven.
He hears.
He’s not slow to act — He’s working in ways you may never fully understand this side of heaven.
“He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:24
So keep planting seeds of faith.
Keep showing up with quiet strength.
And remember: You don’t need a perfect marriage to live a faithful life.
Jesus is enough. And He is with you.
In the beginning...
I'm sure you know the story. God creates all the things, then He breathes life into man.
He sees the first male as alone, and decides he needs a helper; then He creates woman FROM man.
Notice the reason woman was created was to be a helper. That role wasn't a result of the fall; it was assigned to her prior to the fall.
On the other hand, what WAS a result of the fall was woman's desire "for" her husband - most understood and recognized as her desire to control him.
As a result, one of the most common struggles for wives is the tendency to take control—over the schedule, the parenting decisions, the finances, the way things are done.
But underneath that need to control is often fear. Fear of failure, fear of chaos, or fear that things won’t go “right” unless she steps in (which - SPOILER - is also a HUGE indication of pride).
But God doesn’t call you to live from a place of fear. He calls you to trust Him—and one way that trust shows up is in how you relate to your husband.
When you spend time renewing your mind in Scripture, you begin to release the tight grip of control and instead gain quiet, Christ-centered confidence.
Confidence in the Lord allows you to respond with grace when your husband leads differently than you would.
I've heard it said that the measure of a woman's trust in God can be seen in how she submits to her husband.
Trusting the Lord helps you speak with wisdom instead of worry. It builds your ability to communicate with love rather than criticism. And most importantly, it strengthens your faith in God’s sovereignty over your home and marriage.
Practical steps in this area might include:
- Choosing not to "correct" every small thing your husband does differently than you.
- Praying before giving your opinion in a tense conversation.
- Trusting your husband with a parenting or financial decision—and supporting him, even if it’s not what you would do.
- Respecting your husband's decisions - even if you think they're completely wrong - because you know God can protect and guide your family THROUGH any decision, wrong or right.
- Meditating on verses like Isaiah 26:3 or Proverbs 3:5–6 that refocus your mind on God’s control, not yours.
Christ-centered confidence isn’t loud, harsh, or forceful. It’s quiet strength that flows from being anchored in the Word.
When you shift from controlling everything to trusting God in everything, your home—and heart—will experience peace like you could never imagine.
Need a little help? Grab the Marriage Scripture Journal—a 4-week guide to help you study full chapters of God’s Word and apply them to your marriage with clarity and confidence.
If you’re in the trenches of motherhood with spit-up on your shoulder, three hours of sleep (on a good night), and a toddler clinging to your leg, I see you.
And I want you to hear me loud and clear: you are not failing if your Bible study doesn’t look like it used to.
This sacred season of motherhood—yes, even in its exhaustion—is one the Lord sees.
He’s not asking for quiet time perfection. He’s inviting you into communion, however messy or short it may be.
Isaiah 40:11 says,
“He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young.” (emphasis mine)
What a sweet picture of His gentleness with mothers.
Maybe right now, your study looks like meditating on one verse all day.
Write it on a sticky note and put it on your bathroom mirror or the fridge. Use feeding times or nap rocking as moments to pray that verse or ask the Lord to help you understand it more deeply.
Listen to an audio Bible while folding laundry or playing blocks on the floor (bonus: your kids hear it then too!).
Hang Scripture verse cards in your home where you’ll see them often.
Music counts too! Sing hymns over your home and your heart while loading or unloading the dishwasher.
Quick wins for this season:
- Pick one verse a day and meditate on it (work on memorization, look up the context and make sure you understand the author's intention and meaning so you meditate on truth rather than opinion or incorrect interpretation)
- Use audio Bibles—play it in the background while you’re nursing or changing diapers
- Stick Scripture cards around the house for bite-sized truth
- Pray Scripture during feedings or even during midnight wake-ups (have you seen my Titus 2 or 1 Peter Prayer Cards?)
Most importantly: give yourself grace.
God is not grading your Bible study. He simply desires for your heart to prioritize Him. Even five minutes with the Lord can change your entire day when it’s done in faith.
Let Matthew 11:28 remind you that Jesus beckons you:
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
If you feel like you're reading for a more structured Bible study, reach out to me! I have been praying over the idea of offering customized Bible study plans, based on your style of learning, the time you have available, and what you'd like to study. This would also be an opportunity to learn new Bible study methods to help you dig in deeper.
In the meantime, check out the other digital tools available, and let me know what ONE thing you'll do today to prioritize God in your day!
There’s no greater picture of forgiveness than the cross.
As Jesus hung there, suffering for our sins, He spoke words that still shake me to the core (Luke 23:34):
"Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do"
If Jesus could extend that kind of mercy in His darkest moment, what does that mean for us in our everyday lives—especially in marriage and motherhood?
Forgiveness is hard. When your husband says something hurtful, when your kids push every button you have, when a friend disappoints or hurts you—it’s easy to hold onto resentment.
But sweet friend, withholding forgiveness, hanging on to that resentment and the bitterness that results, only keeps you in bondage.
Jesus didn’t just forgive to be nice; He forgave to set us free. And He calls us to do the same.
In marriage, forgiveness is crucial.
Regardless of how wonderful your husband may be, he will mess up—just like you do.
Choosing to forgive, rather than keeping score, creates an environment of grace where love can thrive.
A practical step? Instead of rehashing past wrongs, choose to focus on solutions and moving forward together.
I know what you might be thinking: "What if he just keeps doing the same thing over and over again?"
That's an entirely different topic, but let's touch on it real quick.
If it's a true sin issue where he is unrepentant, like looking at porn, cheating, getting drunk every night, abuse, or other things that are clear-cut sins, I would encourage you to seek wise, godly, biblical counseling. There are different nuances within each of those issues that go deeper than I can discuss in a blog post.
If it's a personal conviction - or even just personal preference - issue where you don't want him to do something (or TO do something) that he doesn't keep up, I would encourage you to seek God and ask if this is a situation where He is asking YOU to change. Your husband's convictions will likely be different from your own on many topics. You may feel convicted about living a clean, toxin free lifestyle; he may not feel convicted to prioritize that.
Listen, I will be real with you and say this one is a STRUGGLE for me. While it doesn't necessarily require me to forgive my husband, it DOES require me to continue treating him with respect, honor, and love, despite any aggravation I may feel because he's not doing the things I feel convicted that he should be doing.
If you're experiencing anything like that, please reach out to me - I would be honored to walk through this with you and offer any biblical wisdom or godly counsel that I am able.
As moms, we can also model forgiveness for our children.
When they see you forgive quickly and extend grace, they learn to do the same.
A simple way to practice this is by apologizing when you lose our temper or forget to follow through on something, showing them that grace isn’t just something you talk about—it’s something you live.
This also gives them an opportunity to practice forgiveness themselves.
And I can hear another question you might be asking: what if the other person hasn't asked for forgiveness?
Romans 5:8 tells us:
"but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
You didn't ask for forgiveness before Christ gave His life for you.
There are so many others who have been offered forgiveness in Christ that have not asked for His forgiveness - yet it is still extended, available to them, offered freely.
The forgiveness you give FREES YOU from bitterness, resentment, anxiety, anger, and the actual physical manifestations of those things that can wreak havoc on your body and ruin your ability to live out God's will for you.
Let's deal with another question: does forgiveness require me to reconcile?
If the other person is unrepentant in their sin, and maintaining a relationship with them puts you in a situation that is dangerous (emotionally, physically, spiritually), then NO - you are not required to reconcile. Reconciliation takes two people works towards a shared goal of unity in the relationship.
If the other person is repentant and actively desiring reconciliation, and you see fruit of the repentance in their life indicating that a relationship with them could be safe, then I would encourage you to prayerfully consider reconciling with them. Depending on the severity of the sin committed against you, this is absolutely something you will need to seek God's guidance in.
The cross teaches us that forgiveness is powerful. It breaks chains, heals wounds, and brings peace.
As a response to our Easter celebration two weeks ago, focusing on Christ's resurrection, let’s ask God to soften our hearts and help us walk in the freedom that comes with forgiving as we have been forgiven.
When we think of Easter, we usually think of that one Sunday each year when we celebrate the resurrection of Christ.
We know His resurrection means new life, so we celebrate with eggs, chicks, bunnies, and flowers, all the things that evoke feelings of freshness, newness, and beginnings.
After that one day is over though...then what?
The resurrection of Jesus invites us into a whole new way of living—every single day.
Romans 6:4 tells us,
Just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.
And there's the question...what does it actually mean to walk in newness of life when we’re knee-deep in laundry, tantrums, marriage difficulties, and the never-ending cycle of responsibilities?
What does this look like, day in and day out? When nothing feels new anymore, but instead you just feel stuck and stale?
Walking in newness of life starts with a mindset shift.
Instead of waking up dreading the demands of the day, you can wake up intentionally thinking about the truth that you are a daughter of the risen King.
The same power that raised Jesus from the dead lives in YOU, giving you strength to meet those demands - to love your husband well, have patience for your kids, and find joy in the mundane.
Those are all fruits of the Spirit, and if you are intentional about growing in Christ, those fruits will be grown and developed in you.
One practical way to develop this mindset is by renewing your mind daily through Scripture.
The enemy wants you to believe that you're stuck in your bad habits, your overwhelmed schedule, your frustrations, hormone imbalances, and your struggles.
But when you fill your mind with God’s truth, you're reminded that you're a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17) and that His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23).
What does this look like, to fill your mind with God's truth?
Waking up anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour earlier to prioritize God in your life by reading and deeply studying His Word, recognizing that He alone is the source of your strength and ability to walk in newness of life each day - but if you don't spend TIME with Him, you aren't accessing the strength, joy, and growth He offers you.
If you have no idea where to even start reading the Bible, or how to study it, please reach out to me! God has given me such a deep desire to help teach and guide women in learning how to read and study His Word, and I would be happy to walk alongside you.
Another way to walk in newness of life is by choosing joy.
Instead of getting caught up in frustration, you can make the intentional choice to pause, breathe, take your thoughts captive, and remind yourself that Jesus is alive—and that reality changes everything.
A simple habit of starting the day with gratitude or ending it with a quick reflection on how you saw God’s goodness can make a huge difference.
Grab a simple dollar store journal to keep at your bedside so you can jot a few things down when you wake up, or before you head to bed each night.
Every day is a chance to live differently because of what Jesus has done.
Let’s not just celebrate the resurrection one Sunday a year—let’s walk in that newness of life every single day.
Tell me: what are some ways you intentionally walk in newness of life each day?
