I have a confession...
I used to google everything.
Marriage issues? Parenting decisions? Spiritual doubts? I’d type it all in and read a dozen articles—none of which ever fully settled my heart.
Why? Because worldly advice, even if it sounds good, will never satisfy a soul that was made to be led by God.
The Bible is full of wisdom for every area of life—yes, even the messy parts.
The hard conversations. The frustrating toddler years. The lonely seasons in marriage.
And yet so many Christian women are still leaning on influencers and life coaches instead of the Holy Spirit.
Why do you think that is? I have a theory...based solely on my own experience.
I think it's because simply googling and having someone give you a pat answer is SO MUCH EASIER (and requires less brain power) than studying God's Word and using wisdom and discernment.
Buuuuut here's the thing: we were not meant to outsource our spiritual guidance.
When I started replacing worldly advice with God’s Word, things changed.
I wasn’t as reactive anymore. I stopped needing everyone else’s approval (former people-pleasers, unite!). I stopped chasing results and started seeking righteousness.
God’s way is slower, quieter, and sometimes (okay most of the time) harder—but it’s always better.
Next time you’re tempted to scroll for advice, pause and open your Bible.
Ask: What does God say about this? What principle can I find in Scripture? And then—this part’s important—do what it says.
There are many situations in life that aren't specified in the Bible (e.g. "What if my teenager asks to be called by a different pronoun?" or "What should I do if my husband is verbally, spiritually, or physically abusive?"). That's when it's important to be familiar enough with Scripture that you can discern what God's heart would be on a particular topic - and you can point to biblical passages that explain your stance.
NOTE: seeking wise biblical counsel in difficult situations IS OKAY (Proverbs 11:14 tells us there is safety in an abundance of counselors; Proverbs 15:22 says with many advisors plans succeed). I'm not saying you should never seek counsel.
What I AM saying is that you should have a way to "test the spirits" and evaluate that the counsel you're receiving actually is biblical and not just take their word for it because they're "Christian".
The way you do this is by studying and knowing Scripture.
Wisdom isn’t just hearing God’s Word; it’s living it.
So sweet friend, stop settling for shallow or "feel-good" answers. You don’t need another expert opinion.
You need the mind of Christ. And that comes ONLY from His Word (1 Cor. 2:16). That’s where your true freedom is found.
Tell me in the comments: when is a time when you discarded worldly advice in favor of what you knew was biblical instead?
Considering I talk a LOT about marriage and being a godly wife, I need to make a confession:
There was a season where I believed he was the problem. If only my husband were more "this" or did "that" less… then I could be the wife I wanted to be.
But the real turning point came when I stopped focusing on changing him and started studying God’s Word to change me.
(If I'm being really honest, this is still something I struggle with, and I need to remind myself that my goal of studying is so that I can learn and obey better, not to have ammunition against my husband or anyone else.)
The Bible is not a marriage advice book—it’s a heart transformation book.
When I got serious about studying it, making it my goal to learn more about God, what He desires for us and from us (especially with my marriage in mind), He started breaking chains I didn’t even know were there.
Chains of selfishness, bitterness, control.
Chains of unrealistic expectations and silent scorekeeping.
As I read Scripture, I realized that submission isn’t about being weak—it's about trusting God’s order.
Respect isn’t optional—it is my act of worship.
Sweet friend, if you’re in a tough season with your husband, I want to challenge you to go to Scripture first, not social media or even your closest girlfriend.
Ask God to show you what it means to be a helper, not a fixer.
Study the examples of women in the Bible—some got it right, some didn’t, but all of it points us back to Christ.
(Check out my dear friend Tania's deep study on this called The Helper - it's wonderful!)
One practical thing that may help you is keeping a marriage study journal.
As you read and study your Bible, ask God, “What do I need to do differently as a wife based on this?” Consider the applications you should make in your marriage, then journal what you're committed to doing and the passage you studied that brought it to light.
God’s Word will do the heavy lifting. You just have to keep showing up with a heart seeking truth and willing to change.
I used to feel so overwhelmed by all the Bible study methods out there.
SOAP, inductive, verse mapping, color-coding, commentary deep-dives… whew.
As a busy wife and mom, I just needed something that worked and made sense.
The truth is—there’s no “one size fits all” method. But there is a best method for you, in this season.
Let’s break down a few simple ones:
SOAP (Scripture, Observation, Application, Prayer):
This one’s my favorite for busy mornings. You write the verse out or simply summarize it, observe what it’s saying, journal out applications you feel called to make personally, and respond in prayer. It’s simple but deep.
SPECK (Sin to avoid, Promise to claim, Example to follow, Command to obey, Knowledge about God):
This one is more of an overall observation method to help you pull out wisdom you could potentially miss. This is great when you need a little guidance finding application straight from the text—especially if you struggle to see how the Bible connects to your daily life.
Verse Mapping:
If you like digging into the original language and comparing translations, this one’s for you. There is so much more depth when you realize why an author was using a specific word, or learn what other meaning is behind the word they used. It’s a little more detailed, but super rich if you want to grow in understanding.
Bible Digest Method (a.k.a. Homiletics):
This one’s amazing for bigger passages or teaching others. For clarification, let me state that I believe Scripture prohibits women from preaching to men or having authority over them, so this method is not for the purpose of preparing a typical sermon. However, Titus 2 does command older women to teach the younger and this method could be used to help you better understand what you are going to teach younger women (or children). You summarize the main idea, find key points, and think about how to apply and share it.
I always tell women this: the best Bible study method is the one that helps you actually understand and apply what you read.
It’s not about doing what’s trending—it’s about doing what helps you connect with the Word.
This week, try a new method! I created a little freebie Bible Study Tool Kit (with SOAP and SPECK templates) to help you experiment and find your favorite.
Now that we're well into Spring, and Easter is on the horizon, there's a good chance you're either planning your Resurrection Day celebration dinner with family, your Easter Egg hunts, or you're just trying to stop sneezing and be able to breathe with all the pollen. (Maybe that last one is just me.)
I'd like to invite you to consider something different about this season of Easter.
Easter is all about new beginnings. Jesus didn’t stay in the tomb—He rose to bring new life, a life in eternal glory with Him!
And just like He brought renewal to the world, He is able to bring renewal to our marriages too.
Let’s be real—marriage can feel stale at times.
The daily grind of life, unspoken frustrations, and the busyness of raising kids can take a toll. All of a sudden you realize - marriage feels HARD.
So how can you experience the fresh renewal that Easter represents in your marriage?
First, let’s look at what renewal actually means. It’s not about ignoring issues or pretending things are perfect.
In Romans 12:2, Paul tells us,
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind
How are we transformed? By the renewal of our minds.
This "renewal" means a change of heart or mind. It requires intention (along with the work of the Holy Spirit - we can do nothing without Him).
According to BibleHub.com, "{Renewal} implies a restoration to a former state or an improvement to a new and better condition."
Did you catch that? A restoration to a former state - when you first got married - or an improvement to a NEW and BETTER condition.
Can you imagine your marriage renewed and even better than it was?!
Renewal comes when we invite Jesus into the broken places and allow Him to breathe new life into them.
Just as He overcame death, He can overcome the struggles in our marriages—whether that’s communication breakdowns, unmet expectations, or emotional distance.
This does require intention on your part. While Jesus is capable of miracles that don't involve action on our part, most of the miracles He performed included others taking on certain tasks as well.
One way to seek renewal in your marriage is through forgiveness.
Jesus’ death and resurrection made way for our sins to be forgiven, and He calls you to extend that same grace to your husband.
Holding onto bitterness keeps you stuck, but choosing to forgive—even when it’s hard—opens the door for healing.
To avoid that bitterness from creeping back in, it's imperative that you develop the habit of thinking the BEST of your husband, rather than assuming the worst. For example, when he forgets something, extend the same grace God offers to you, and assume your husband was simply forgetful, rather than neglectful or uncaring.
Another step is intentionally reconnecting.
Plan a date night (even if you're always the one to plan them - that may be a strength you have that he doesn't, so lean into your strength), leave a sweet note, take on a task that he normally completes or you know he dislikes, or simply take a few moments each day to laugh together.
Small efforts can bring a fresh sense of connection. It's usually those daily, small efforts that get forgotten in the daily busy-ness of life, so they're important to intentionally bring back.
And most importantly, pray for your marriage.
Ask God to renew your love, restore joy, and help you both grow together in Him.
Ask your husband what he is currently praying for, or what he would love to have you pray for him. That simple connection alone, knowing that you're in his corner appealing to God on his behalf, can bring so much restoration to your marriage.
Easter reminds us that nothing is too far gone for Jesus to restore.
As we lean into His resurrection power, we can experience a marriage that isn’t just surviving but thriving.
If you'd like to dive deeper into this, be sure to check out the 7-Day Spring Clean Your Marriage challenge! This is a challenge you can begin at any time - and repeat as often as you'd like - to clear out what isn't working, bring back what used to work, and create new habits that will strengthen and fortify your marriage. Click the link below for more information!
