One of the most sacred and silent fears I hear from women is:
“What if my husband never becomes the spiritual leader I pray for?”
That ache runs deep.
It’s often whispered through tears, tucked inside prayer journals, or carried silently in conversations with God.
You long to see your husband flourish in Christ.
You dream of him leading your family with wisdom and strength.
And when it doesn’t happen… it’s easy to drift toward control, resentment, or quiet despair.
But sweet friend — Scripture speaks straight into this place.
🕊 A Word From the Word
1 Peter 3:1–2 (ESV) says:
“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word,
they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives —
when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”
This isn’t a call to silence.
The Greek meaning of "without a word" here means THE Word. It means don't preach Scripture at your husband when he's already not inclined to obey it.
It does not mean to ignore or enable sin. It doesn't mean to hide your concerns, fears, or wisdom.
What it does mean is to use strength in surrender.
It’s not about pretending or performing — it’s about trusting that God is at work, even when you can’t see it.
🙏 Truth You Need to Know
Here’s what I remind women often — and I want you to hear it too:
- Your husband’s sanctification is not your responsibility.
But your response is. - Your role is not to lead him spiritually.
Your role is to honor God faithfully — and let the aroma of Christ be what shapes your home. - You’re not powerless in this.
But your power comes from prayer, not pressure.
Let’s pause here for a moment of reflection. Ask yourself:
- Have I confused spiritual leadership with spiritual performance?
- Am I trying to change him in my timing — instead of trusting God’s?
- Where am I withholding respect because I’m waiting for results?
- IMPORTANT NOTE: As a wife, you are called to respect your husband unconditionally - just as your husband is called to love you unconditionally. Withholding respect until he "earns" it is directly disobeying God's instructions. (Ephesians 5:33)
❤️ What Obedience Looks Like
Here are three areas the Lord may be inviting you to walk in faith:
1. Respect without manipulation.
Are your words building him up — or are you tearing him down quietly in your heart?
“She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” — Proverbs 31:12
2. Prayer without condition.
Are you praying for him every day — or only when you’re upset or disappointed?
“Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.” — Colossians 4:2
3. Trust without striving.
Are you trying to be the Holy Spirit — or letting God be God?
“The Lord takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love.” — Psalm 147:11
✍️ A Gentle Action Step
Let’s take the pressure off and anchor ourselves in prayer.
Today, write down three prayers for your husband.
Not things to fix. Not character traits to force.
But areas where you’re asking God to move.
Then ask yourself:
- What would it look like to trust God with no deadline?
- Can I worship while I wait?
- Can I choose peace even when the story doesn’t look how I hoped?
✨ A Loving Warning: Don’t Wait to Rejoice
There’s one more thing I need to say — gently, but clearly. I learned this the hard way, and I want to spare you some pain.
If your joy is on hold until your husband leads…
If your peace depends on your picture-perfect marriage…
If your heart aches more over his stagnancy than it delights in Christ’s sufficiency…
If your peace depends on your picture-perfect marriage…
If your heart aches more over his stagnancy than it delights in Christ’s sufficiency…
Then it may be time to ask:
Have I made my husband, or my dream of biblical marriage, an idol?
We don’t usually call it that.
It can look like longing. Grief. Disappointment.
But if you believe you can’t be whole, fulfilled, or deeply joyful without him leading spiritually the way you believe he should…
Then you're saying Jesus isn’t enough.
“Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” — Psalm 73:25–26
Marriage is good.
A spiritually mature husband is beautiful.
But he was never meant to be your Savior. And it's unfair to put that expectation on him.
Your fulfillment, purpose, and security were never designed to rest on the shoulders of a man — even a godly one.
That weight belongs only to Christ.
And the good news?
He can carry it.
So let your first love be Jesus.
Let your joy come not from what could be — but from what already is.
Let your worship rise even if your circumstances don’t.
You are known.
You are loved.
You are held.
You are loved.
You are held.
Right here. Right now.
🕯 Final Word
Sweet friend, your hope is not in your husband’s growth.
It’s in the unshakable, all-knowing, always-moving heart of God.
He sees.
He hears.
He’s not slow to act — He’s working in ways you may never fully understand this side of heaven.
He hears.
He’s not slow to act — He’s working in ways you may never fully understand this side of heaven.
“He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:24
So keep planting seeds of faith.
Keep showing up with quiet strength.
And remember: You don’t need a perfect marriage to live a faithful life.
Jesus is enough. And He is with you.
Let’s be honest…
Home doesn’t always feel like the peaceful haven we imagined when we first got married, or when our first baby was born.
Some days it’s loud. Messy. Heavy.
You’re trying to get dinner on the table while someone’s yelling about socks (or poop if you're a boy mom), and suddenly the idea of a “Christ-centered home” feels more like a distant dream than something you can actually live out..
But here’s what I want you to know:
Jesus doesn’t wait for quiet to enter. He comes right into the noise.
And when you start to intentionally invite Him in, even in small ways—
The atmosphere shifts.
The atmosphere shifts.
So what does a Christ-centered atmosphere actually look like?
It’s not about fresh flowers on the table and a diffuser going (though those things are lovely - we do have a diffuser running every day but my cat eats fresh flowers).
It’s not even about perfect obedience or chore charts with Scripture verses.
At its core, a Christ-centered home is one where:
- God’s Word is known and spoken—regularly, not perfectly
- Prayer is part of real, everyday life, not just a bedtime routine
- Grace is given… and often given again
- Repentance is modeled, not hidden
- Love leads the room—even when emotions are high
Paul said it this way:
“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts…
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.”
— Colossians 3:15–16
And I love that he didn’t say when the kids are cooperating or once everyone’s emotionally regulated.
He just said: let Him rule. Let Him dwell.
5 Ways to Shift the Atmosphere—Without Overhauling Your Life
You don’t need a full schedule overhaul or a family-wide transformation plan.
Small shifts, repeated over time, will do more than one big “spiritual reset” ever could.
Here are five places you could start today:
1. Play worship in the background
When you fill your heart with the truths of God's word, with praise of Him, worship of Him, and gratitude for Him, your heart softens.
And when your heart softens, so does the tone of the whole house.
It doesn’t have to be loud. Just let truth start filling the quiet moments again.
Often, I will pull up a YouTube live stream channel that just has instrumental hymns playing, and I leave it on throughout the day.
2. Put Scripture where you’ll see it
A sticky note on the bathroom mirror. A verse on the fridge.
Or my personal favorite, wall art from Hobby Lobby. 😊
One mom told me her daughter now puts up her own verses after watching her do it.
That’s the fruit of consistency, not perfection.
3. Pray out loud in real-time
It doesn’t have to be deep or long.
It doesn't have to be eloquent or worded perfectly.
Just—“Jesus, help us have peace right now.” Or “Lord, thank You for this moment.” Or "Father, protect the people that ambulance/fire truck is going to help."
These small moments teach your kids Who you run to.
4. Model repentance
One of the most powerful things I’ve ever done as a mom is look my child in the eye and say, “I was wrong. I’m sorry.”
Repentance doesn’t weaken your authority—it strengthens their respect.
5. Speak life on purpose
When tension rises, speak God’s Word out loud into that room.
Even if it’s just you whispering it under your breath while folding towels.
“Life and death are in the power of the tongue…”
— Proverbs 18:21
You’re setting the spiritual temperature, whether you mean to or not.
A Few Questions to Gently Consider
Not to bring shame, but rather clarity.
- What’s being talked about the most in our home?
- What’s playing in the background: news, music, noise, silence?
- What would someone feel if they walked through our front door?
You don’t need a perfect answer. Just an honest one.
Because when Christ is centered, peace begins to grow—even if it’s slow.
Verses to Carry Into the Chaos
🕊 Romans 12:18
“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
🕊 Philippians 4:7
“And the peace of God… will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
“And the peace of God… will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
🕊 Proverbs 24:3–4
“By wisdom a house is built… by knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.”
“By wisdom a house is built… by knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.”
Last Thought, Sweet Friend
You’re not failing if your house feels tense right now. Let's be real...sometimes you do all you can and the tension remains.
You’re not behind spiritually.
And you don’t need to “try harder” to make your home holy.
You just need to keep building—with Jesus at the center.
One verse. One prayer. One act of humility at a time.
Start small. Start again if you need to.
Let Christ fill the chaos.
That’s where peace begins.
✨ Want help getting started?
If you’re not sure what to pray or where to begin…
Grab your free copy of 30 Scriptures to Pray Over Your Home and let God’s Word lead the way.
📩 Download it here!
Grab your free copy of 30 Scriptures to Pray Over Your Home and let God’s Word lead the way.
📩 Download it here!
If you’ve ever questioned whether your time in the Word really matters when no one else sees it, let me gently remind you: it matters more than you think.
Your time in Scripture isn’t just for you. It sets the tone of your home.
In a world that wants to distract, discourage, and disorient your marriage, your kids (everything, really), it's important that you're intentional about making your home a place of clarity, peace, and truth.
That starts with your own personal time in the Word, sweet friend. Not perfect study. Not obligatory study. But faithful study
.
🟣 Why Your Study Time Has a Ripple Effect
Even if no one else sees your early-morning Bible open on the kitchen table or your quiet prayer whispered between dishes, God sees it.
And whether you realize it or not, your family feels it.
When your heart is aligned with God’s truth, it changes how you respond when your child melts down. How you engage in conflict with your spouse. How you prioritize time, energy, and boundaries.
This isn’t about you being the spiritual leader of your house. We know that role is reserved for your husband.
This is about being anchored, so your home doesn’t drift with every mood, trend, or headline.
Scripture says,
“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” — Psalm 119:105 (ESV)
Jesus also reminds us in Matthew 5:14a,
"You are the light of the world."
You can’t be the light for your family if your own lamp is empty. Let Him fill you first.
🟣 How To Start (Even If You Feel Spiritually Stuck)
You don’t need an elaborate system to start studying Scripture with impact. Here’s a simple framework that works even in full, noisy seasons:
1. Pick a place.
Even five minutes of reading in the same chair, corner, or nook can become sacred ground. Consistency builds clarity.
Even five minutes of reading in the same chair, corner, or nook can become sacred ground. Consistency builds clarity.
2. Choose one small section of Scripture.
Start with a short passage (1–2 paragraphs). Example: Colossians 3:12–17 is rich with wisdom for the home. (Caution: read more than just a verse - surrounding context is important.)
Start with a short passage (1–2 paragraphs). Example: Colossians 3:12–17 is rich with wisdom for the home. (Caution: read more than just a verse - surrounding context is important.)
3. Ask 3 questions as you read:
- What does this show me about God?
- What does this expose in me?
- How can I obey God in my home and marriage today?
4. Speak it out loud.
Even if it’s just one verse, let your ears hear truth. Romans 10:17 says,
Even if it’s just one verse, let your ears hear truth. Romans 10:17 says,
“So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.” (ESV)
5. Invite your kids into it — not by preaching at them, but by letting them see you prioritize it.
I once heard about a mom who started leaving her Bible open on the kitchen counter, just as a reminder to herself — and her kids began asking questions about the verses they saw. Tiny seeds.
🟣 Scriptures to Ground You in This
Here are a few verses to guide and encourage your heart as you begin or deepen your personal study:
- Deuteronomy 6:6–7
“And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children…”
- Isaiah 26:3
“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.”
- Psalm 1:2–3
“But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night… In all that he does, he prospers.”
🟣 Final Thought:
If you’ve been waiting for the perfect morning routine, the quiet house, or the ideal devotional plan to begin... take the pressure off. (And the procrastination, let's be real.)
God honors your effort, not your aesthetics.
Your study shapes your responses. Your tone. Your discernment. Your legacy.
Start NOW.
Start small, stay consistent, and let the fruit show up in the unseen — the way you hold space, speak peace, and walk in wisdom.
If you haven't already grabbed this month's free download, be sure to check out 30 Scriptures to Pray Over Your Home. Grab it here!
Imagine this: we’re sitting across from each other, coffee in hand, chatting about life and marriage.
You tell me you want a stronger, more joyful connection with your husband, but you’re not sure where to start.
I get it—it can feel overwhelming.
Even if you have a wonderful marriage, the idea of working towards improvement can feel daunting. (Actually, if you have a wonderful marriage, it may feel even more daunting!)
But here’s the good news: transformation doesn’t have to be complicated. It starts with small, intentional steps - rooted in God’s Word.
5 Practices To Start Today
First, let’s talk about gratitude. Each morning, jot down one thing you appreciate about your husband. It could be something as simple as how he goes to work every day to provide for your family, or how he always takes out the trash without being asked. Maybe it's his ability to make you laugh, or how dedicated he is to his children. Gratitude shifts your focus from what’s lacking to what’s good, and it sets the tone for a day filled with grace.
Next, carve out five minutes to pray specifically for your marriage. Ask God for wisdom, patience, and a heart that’s open to change. Look up passages about marriage, and pray those things over your own. When you anchor your prayers in Scripture, you’re not just talking to God—you’re inviting His truth to transform you from the inside out.
Another game-changer? Active listening. When your husband speaks, resist the urge to interrupt or plan your response. Just listen. This simple act builds trust and connection, showing him that his words—and his heart—matter to you.
And when frustrations arise (because let’s be real, they will), pause and choose grace over grumbling. Ask yourself, “How can I respond with kindness instead of criticism?” It’s not always easy, but staying rooted in God’s Word equips you to respond in ways that reflect His love. Don't expect to respond with love if you aren't being filled with God's love daily through studying His Word.
Finally, create moments of connection. Plan one intentional act of kindness each week—whether it’s leaving a note of encouragement, cooking his favorite meal, grabbing a snack he loves while you're grocery shopping, or planning a date night (even if he never does - maybe it's your gift to give). These small gestures speak volumes and remind both of you why you chose each other.
Here’s the thing: when you stay rooted in Scripture, these steps don’t feel like a chore. They become a joy. They become part of who you are—a wife transformed by God’s truth.
Ready to take the next step? Getting into a daily rhythm of reading and actively studying God's Word is how you will experience this transformation.
Download the free 4-week Marriage Scripture Journal and start your journey today. It’s packed with guided readings and prompts to help you anchor your heart in God’s Word and see transformation first in your heart, and then in your marriage.
Let’s do this together.
There are few things more frustrating than running into the same marriage issues over and over again.
Potty-training comes to mind as one of those few things, but that's a different topic entirely. 🤣
Whether it’s poor (or nonexistent) communication, resentment, unmet expectations, lack of leadership, or drifting intimacy, the root problems in marriage often feel complex—but many of them actually trace back to our mindset and our heart posture.
That’s where renewing your mind through the Word becomes powerful.
Scripture doesn’t just teach behavior modification—it transforms you from the inside out.
When you turn to the Bible for wisdom instead of turning only to other people for advice, you will start seeing deeper solutions to the struggles you face in your marriage.
Let’s look at a few examples:
- Communication struggles? James 1:19 reminds us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.
- Bitterness or unforgiveness? Ephesians 4:31–32 calls us to put away all bitterness and instead be kind and forgiving.
- Missing intimacy or drifting connection? 1 Corinthians 13:4–7 paints a picture of love that is patient, selfless, and not easily offended. (That one is TOUGH.)
- Lack of leadership? 1 Peter 3 instructs wives to submit to their husbands - even those who disobey the Word - out of reverence and obedience to God, not because their husbands are perfect leaders (this godly submission on your part is one way to influence your husband to grow in leadership, and grow towards Christ).
- Feeling purposeless? Titus 2 describes the role of older women teaching the younger - so whether you're in the "older" category, your role is to teach the younger the things listed in that passage, and if you're in the "younger" category, your role is to spend time learning those things and implementing them well within your home and family.
God’s Word is practical, powerful, and personal.
When you take time to meditate on His truth and apply it—even to small situations in your marriage—you'll notice yourself responding differently intuitively.
You'll become more aware of your tone. You'll notice when you're assuming something without actual facts behind it. You'll slow down and seek understanding and wisdom.
And as you change, it will create space for healing and growth in your marriage.
Not only will you notice yourself changing, more than likely your husband will notice too - and God can use that to draw your husband to Himself.
This week:
Choose one challenge you’ve been facing and look up 2–3 verses that speak into that issue.
Write them down and pray over them daily.
The Word won’t return void (Isaiah 55:11)—it will accomplish exactly what God intends.
Need some help getting started? I created a free Marriage Scripture Journal to help you dig into God's Word. Grab your copy at the link below.
