In the beginning...
I'm sure you know the story. God creates all the things, then He breathes life into man.
He sees the first male as alone, and decides he needs a helper; then He creates woman FROM man.
Notice the reason woman was created was to be a helper. That role wasn't a result of the fall; it was assigned to her prior to the fall.
On the other hand, what WAS a result of the fall was woman's desire "for" her husband - most understood and recognized as her desire to control him.
As a result, one of the most common struggles for wives is the tendency to take control—over the schedule, the parenting decisions, the finances, the way things are done.
But underneath that need to control is often fear. Fear of failure, fear of chaos, or fear that things won’t go “right” unless she steps in (which - SPOILER - is also a HUGE indication of pride).
But God doesn’t call you to live from a place of fear. He calls you to trust Him—and one way that trust shows up is in how you relate to your husband.
When you spend time renewing your mind in Scripture, you begin to release the tight grip of control and instead gain quiet, Christ-centered confidence.
Confidence in the Lord allows you to respond with grace when your husband leads differently than you would.
I've heard it said that the measure of a woman's trust in God can be seen in how she submits to her husband.
Trusting the Lord helps you speak with wisdom instead of worry. It builds your ability to communicate with love rather than criticism. And most importantly, it strengthens your faith in God’s sovereignty over your home and marriage.
Practical steps in this area might include:
- Choosing not to "correct" every small thing your husband does differently than you.
- Praying before giving your opinion in a tense conversation.
- Trusting your husband with a parenting or financial decision—and supporting him, even if it’s not what you would do.
- Respecting your husband's decisions - even if you think they're completely wrong - because you know God can protect and guide your family THROUGH any decision, wrong or right.
- Meditating on verses like Isaiah 26:3 or Proverbs 3:5–6 that refocus your mind on God’s control, not yours.
Christ-centered confidence isn’t loud, harsh, or forceful. It’s quiet strength that flows from being anchored in the Word.
When you shift from controlling everything to trusting God in everything, your home—and heart—will experience peace like you could never imagine.
Need a little help? Grab the Marriage Scripture Journal—a 4-week guide to help you study full chapters of God’s Word and apply them to your marriage with clarity and confidence.
If you're anything like most wives today, you're trying your best to do it all—manage your home, caring for your children, serve at church, and do your best to love your husband well.
But far too often, those efforts are fueled by pressure, emotion, a sense of "Christian" duty, or even cultural expectations - rather than the truth of God's Word.
And when that’s the case, discouragement usually isn’t far behind.
The role of a godly wife wasn’t designed to be driven by emotion, pride, obligation, or performance. It was designed to be rooted in the truth of Scripture and faith in God.
When a woman renews her mind with the Word of God, everything changes—her tone, her perspective, her posture, and even her purpose.
She begins to see that her role isn’t just about meeting needs or keeping peace (and - spoiler alert - we're called to be MAKERS of peace, not keepers of peace).
The role of a godly wife is about glorifying God through her words, her attitude, and her trust in Him.
But you can't live out that role without understanding what God's Word says - not what other people tell you it says.
Wives who consistently spend time in the Word often begin to notice a shift:
🟣 their respect becomes more intentional
🟣 their love becomes more selfless
🟣 their communication becomes more patient.
Why? Because the Word sanctifies (John 17:17). It reshapes how you think, and therefore how you respond.
If you’ve felt stagnant or frustrated in your role as a wife, ask yourself: am I being shaped by the Word or by the world? Are my thoughts toward my husband rooted in truth, or in emotion?
This week, start small—spend 10–15 minutes reading one passage (Ephesians 5, Proverbs 31, or 1 Peter 3 are great places to begin).
Ask the Lord to show you something specific to apply. Write it down, pray it over your marriage, and revisit it daily.
Over time, you’ll see the transformation—not just in your actions, but in your heart.
Considering I talk a LOT about marriage and being a godly wife, I need to make a confession:
There was a season where I believed he was the problem. If only my husband were more "this" or did "that" less… then I could be the wife I wanted to be.
But the real turning point came when I stopped focusing on changing him and started studying God’s Word to change me.
(If I'm being really honest, this is still something I struggle with, and I need to remind myself that my goal of studying is so that I can learn and obey better, not to have ammunition against my husband or anyone else.)
The Bible is not a marriage advice book—it’s a heart transformation book.
When I got serious about studying it, making it my goal to learn more about God, what He desires for us and from us (especially with my marriage in mind), He started breaking chains I didn’t even know were there.
Chains of selfishness, bitterness, control.
Chains of unrealistic expectations and silent scorekeeping.
As I read Scripture, I realized that submission isn’t about being weak—it's about trusting God’s order.
Respect isn’t optional—it is my act of worship.
Sweet friend, if you’re in a tough season with your husband, I want to challenge you to go to Scripture first, not social media or even your closest girlfriend.
Ask God to show you what it means to be a helper, not a fixer.
Study the examples of women in the Bible—some got it right, some didn’t, but all of it points us back to Christ.
(Check out my dear friend Tania's deep study on this called The Helper - it's wonderful!)
One practical thing that may help you is keeping a marriage study journal.
As you read and study your Bible, ask God, “What do I need to do differently as a wife based on this?” Consider the applications you should make in your marriage, then journal what you're committed to doing and the passage you studied that brought it to light.
God’s Word will do the heavy lifting. You just have to keep showing up with a heart seeking truth and willing to change.
We've been talking all month about different Bible study tools, how to study, how to make it less overwhelming and more "do-able".
But simply studying isn't enough. If we want to be transformed by Scripture, we need to apply what we learn.
That being said, let’s end this month by talking about the “so what” of Bible study—application.
You can read Scripture all day long, use every method under the sun, and fill notebooks with notes—but if you don’t apply what you study, it’s like looking in a mirror and forgetting what you saw (James 1:22-25).
As wives and moms, this matters so much. God didn’t give us His Word just for head knowledge—He gave it to us so we could live it out in our marriage, in how we talk to our kids, in how we serve and speak and forgive.
Here are three simple ways to apply Scripture every week:
Pick One Small Step:
After studying, ask: “Based on this passage, what one thing can I change today?”
Whether it’s holding your tongue in an argument or getting up five minutes earlier to pray, small obedience matters.
Write it in your notes, and think about what exactly you need to hold yourself accountable to the Lord for obeying. That was a tip I was given by one of my BibleArc coaches, and I thought it was super helpful.
Speak it Out Loud:
Tell your husband or a friend what you learned. Sharing helps you remember, and it invites accountability.
This also works when you post about it on social media. Tell the world what you've learned, and maybe you'll teach someone else, too!
Write a Sticky Note Reminder:
Seriously. I’ve had verses stuck to my bathroom mirror, laundry room wall, and even the dash of my car.
You could also use Canva to make a new phone wallpaper or lock screen with your verse!
The goal is to keep the truth in front of your face so it sinks into your heart.
Remember, if you need a little help, check out the FREE Bible Study Toolkit I created to help guide you.
Don’t just study to say you did—study to become more like Christ.
Study to be the wife your husband needs, the mom your kids admire and called blessed, and the woman God created you to be.
You’ve got this, friend. And I’m right here with you.
I used to feel so overwhelmed by all the Bible study methods out there.
SOAP, inductive, verse mapping, color-coding, commentary deep-dives… whew.
As a busy wife and mom, I just needed something that worked and made sense.
The truth is—there’s no “one size fits all” method. But there is a best method for you, in this season.
Let’s break down a few simple ones:
SOAP (Scripture, Observation, Application, Prayer):
This one’s my favorite for busy mornings. You write the verse out or simply summarize it, observe what it’s saying, journal out applications you feel called to make personally, and respond in prayer. It’s simple but deep.
SPECK (Sin to avoid, Promise to claim, Example to follow, Command to obey, Knowledge about God):
This one is more of an overall observation method to help you pull out wisdom you could potentially miss. This is great when you need a little guidance finding application straight from the text—especially if you struggle to see how the Bible connects to your daily life.
Verse Mapping:
If you like digging into the original language and comparing translations, this one’s for you. There is so much more depth when you realize why an author was using a specific word, or learn what other meaning is behind the word they used. It’s a little more detailed, but super rich if you want to grow in understanding.
Bible Digest Method (a.k.a. Homiletics):
This one’s amazing for bigger passages or teaching others. For clarification, let me state that I believe Scripture prohibits women from preaching to men or having authority over them, so this method is not for the purpose of preparing a typical sermon. However, Titus 2 does command older women to teach the younger and this method could be used to help you better understand what you are going to teach younger women (or children). You summarize the main idea, find key points, and think about how to apply and share it.
I always tell women this: the best Bible study method is the one that helps you actually understand and apply what you read.
It’s not about doing what’s trending—it’s about doing what helps you connect with the Word.
This week, try a new method! I created a little freebie Bible Study Tool Kit (with SOAP and SPECK templates) to help you experiment and find your favorite.
