We all know that in marriage, it’s not always the big things that cause trouble—it’s the little things that build up over time.
Just like dust accumulates in the corners of our homes when left unchecked, small annoyances, unresolved hurts, resentment, unexpressed (or unrealistic!) expectations, and neglected moments of connection can clutter our marriage.
Song of Solomon 2:15 warns us about “the little foxes that spoil the vines,” reminding us that the small things we ignore can slowly damage our relationship if we aren’t careful.
Similarly, there are probably some small things you used to do for your husband that he appreciated, but you've slowly stopped doing them.
Could these be some of the little things in your marriage that need attention?
- expressing aggravation or annoyance when your husband speaks
- the habit of rolling your eyes instead of extending grace
- the unspoken resentment that has built up over time
- hinting or expecting him to "just know" what you want or need rather than clearly communicating your expectations and desires
These small things may not seem like a big deal in the moment, but when we don’t address them, they create distance.
Can you think of some things you used to do that you haven't in a while?
- Maybe you loved planning date nights and had a blast, but since he doesn't plan them you haven't been either.
- Perhaps you used to leave love notes around but life got busy and you haven't thought about it in a while.
What did you used to do for him while you were dating that you've stopped?
This is why staying in the Word is essential—Scripture doesn’t just give us insight into our relationship with God; it also convicts and teaches us how to love our husbands well (Ephesians 5:33).
When we study God's Word deeply, it transforms us into more godly wives who exemplify the fruits of the Spirit, including towards our husbands.
If you’re feeling distant from your husband, take some time to pray and ask the Lord to reveal any areas where you might need to dust things off, purge a few unhelpful habits, restore some prior romantic ones, and refresh your marriage with some new displays of respect.
James 1:22 reminds us to be doers of the Word, not just hearers.
That means if God’s Word calls us to be patient, gentle, and forgiving, and if we're called to honor one another above ourselves, we need to actually put those things into practice—especially in marriage.
This week, do a little “spring cleaning” in your marriage. Apologize for the harsh words, extend kindness where there’s been frustration, and be intentional about nurturing your relationship.
Just like a freshly cleaned home feels refreshing, a marriage free from built-up offenses will bring peace and joy.
If you'd like a little more guidance, check out my FREE 7-Day Spring Clean Your Marriage Challenge! You'll receive a PDF workbook and 7 days of emails that will walk you through refreshing your marriage biblically, one small step at a time.
You know what time it is...
Spring cleaning season is here, and while you may be busy dusting shelves and tossing out clutter, have you paused to consider that your heart might need a little decluttering, too?
Just like a messy home can make it hard to find peace, a heart weighed down by sin, distractions, or unaddressed emotions can keep you from walking closely with God - which in turn can wreak havoc on your marriage.
Hebrews 12:1 tells us to
lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us.
This is an instruction, which indicates that we have control over whether or not we do this.
If we want a deeper, more intimate relationship with the Lord, and a stronger, healthier marriage, we have to make space for God by intentionally, purposefully, obediently letting go of the things that get in the way.
Maybe you're struggling with bitterness or unrealistic expectations toward your husband; a grudge you’re holding against a friend; or just the never-ending to-do list that keeps pushing time with God to the bottom of it (which means it rarely, if ever, happens).
Whatever it is, there are some steps you can take to declutter the things in your heart that aren't serving you, your faith, or your family, and free up some space to invite Christ to fill you with godliness and fruits of the Spirit.
The first step in decluttering your heart is identifying what’s there.
You can do this by prioritizing your time studying Scripture.
When you spend intentional time in the Word, the Holy Spirit brings to light the things you need to surrender (Psalm 139:23-24).
If you don’t make space for Scripture in your life (daily if possible), you won’t even recognize the clutter you're carrying.
Spend time reading and studying the Bible, and then take a few minutes to journal out a few things you feel the Spirit is revealing to you that you need to let go of.
The next step is to actively let go of sin and negativity.
This is where you apply what you study.
If God’s Word calls you to forgive, you forgive. If it calls you to trust instead of worry, you surrender your anxieties in prayer (Philippians 4:6-7).
It’s not enough to simply acknowledge the clutter; you have to remove it. And just like with physical clutter, this is an ongoing process—not a one-time event.
As you take steps to declutter your heart, you’ll find that your time with the Lord feels more joyful and meaningful, your marriage will benefit from your softened spirit, and your joy in Christ will grow.
The final step is to replace the clutter with fruits of the Spirit.
In Matthew 12:44-45, Jesus tells us:
Then it [the demon] says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when it comes, it finds the house empty, swept, and put in order. Then it goes and brings with it seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and dwell there, and the last state of that person is worse than the first.
When you simply try to stop doing or to release something, without replacing it with a godly alternative, you leave your mind, heart, and soul susceptible for the enemy to fill that space with even more clutter.
For example, you can try to stop thinking negative thoughts about your husband, but if you don't replace them with positive thoughts instead, you'll find yourself coming up with all sorts of other destructive assumptions to dwell on.
How do you cultivate the fruits of the Spirit? By practicing the core spiritual disciplines of Bible study, prayer, and worship.
If you need help getting started, I invite you to check out my free Quieting Your Mind Guide. This guide was created to help you learn how to experience deeper, more meaningful and fruitful connection with God in your quiet times.
Make time this week to sit with the Lord and ask Him to show you what needs to go. Then, be obedient in clearing it out and adding spiritual disciplines in so you can walk more freely with Him.
Hey sweet friend, pour a cup of coffee and let's talk about love—the real, gritty, God-designed kind that makes marriages thrive.
We hear “love” tossed around so casually ("Okay, love you, bye!"), but biblical love is in a league of its own.
It’s not just warm feelings or grand gestures; it’s patient, kind, and selfless. It’s the kind of love Paul describes in 1 Corinthians 13—love that doesn’t keep score, isn’t easily angered, and rejoices in the truth.
It's the kind of love that requires action - intentional acts done offered from a heart of obedience, not necessarily driven by emotion.
And let's be honest: this kind of love rarely comes naturally.
When your husband forgets to take out the trash (again), or it feels like you’re carrying the weight of the family on your shoulders, the love that “always protects, always trusts, always hopes” can feel out of reach.
But here’s the beautiful thing: biblical love isn’t something we manufacture on our own. It’s the love of Christ flowing through us, empowering us to love in ways we never could on our own.
Understanding biblical love starts with seeing marriage as a reflection of God’s love for His people.
Ephesians 5 reminds us that a husband and wife are meant to mirror Christ and the church—sacrificial love on one side, respectful submission on the other.
It’s a dance of mutual care and humility, and when we embrace God’s design, it transforms the way we relate to each other.
This week, take a moment to read 1 Corinthians 13 with fresh eyes, imagining each verse as a lens for your marriage. Pray and ask God to show you how to love your husband with more patience, more kindness, and less self-seeking. None of us do this perfectly, but by leaning on the Lord, we grow in grace every day.
Let’s commit to walking this out together, one loving action at a time. The ripple effects on your marriage will be worth it.
Sweet friend, we know a strong marriage doesn’t just happen like in movies. In real life, creating a heavenly marriage requires intentionality, prayer, and inviting God into the center of your relationship.
It's too easy to get lost in the busyness of life, or the frustration of being married to someone who sins just like you do, and you forget to ask God to guide you how He sees fit in your marriage.
Since we're still in the beginning of a brand new year, let’s talk about three simple ways to intentionally invite God into your marriage.
First, commit to praying over your marriage, yourself as a wife, and your husband, regularly. Even if your husband isn’t a Christian, your prayers can make a powerful difference. Ask God to guide your heart, give you wisdom, and work in your husband’s life. Trust that God is at work even when you don’t see immediate results.
- Pray over your marriage itself, that God will use it to raise strong, godly children, that He will use the two of you together to exemplify the relationship between Christ and the Church as He designed marriage to function.
- Pray over yourself, that you would grow into the godly wife He's created you to be, and the one your husband needs you to be. For Scripture-based prayers you can pray over your growth as a wife, check out the Prayer Cards I've created based on Titus 2 and 1 Peter 3 HERE.
- Pray over your husband, not just that he would be the godly husband you need him to be, but pray over him as a man in general: for blessings, success at work, for his growth as a dad, as a friend, as a follower of Christ (or that he would give his heart to Christ if he hasn't yet).
Second, apply Scripture to your own actions within your marriage. Focus on how you can reflect Christ through love, patience, and kindness. When you live out biblical principles, you create a testimony of God’s grace that speaks louder than words.
It's important to study God's Word so that you know what God expects of you as a wife. Understanding your own role as a wife, and committing to obey God's instructions to wives regardless of whether your husband obeys, is crucial. As you study, learning how to make observations, correctly interpret, and accurately apply what you're learning is so important.
Often we read over Scripture and don't actually absorb it, or allow it to transform us. God gave us His Word in order that we can get to know Him, His heart, and His instructions for us. If you find yourself frequently wishing you could just hear God speak audibly to you and tell you what to do or what He wants from you, it's possible that you aren't absorbing or being transformed yet by what you're reading in the Bible. I am passionate about helping women learn how to do this, so if you don't follow me yet on Instagram or Facebook, make sure to go follow me now, and get on my email list!
Third, create a Christ-centered atmosphere in your home. Play worship music, display Scripture art, and prioritize joy and peace in your daily interactions. Even small changes can create an environment where God’s presence feels tangible.
Allow your husband and children to see you put God first by setting aside time to study His Word each day, asking for that uninterrupted time when needed. Your kids don't need to always feel like they come first, especially when they're seeing you put God ahead of them for just a few minutes.
Eventually, as you are transformed by His Word, they will see those changes and notice how you respond in gentleness and kindness, rather than in frustration and anxiety - and THAT will make the biggest impact on your husband, and your kids.
Want more ideas for building a God-centered marriage - and home? Let’s connect on Instagram where you can find me at @missiannsmith. That's where I share practical tips and encouragement for Christian wives to help you learn how to study Scripture for yourself and apply it to YOUR marriage. Let’s make this the year of growth and unity in our marriages!
The start of a new year feels like a blank page, doesn’t it? There’s something so refreshing about knowing you can turn the corner and start fresh.
But if you’re anything like me, you might also feel a little overwhelmed.
There are a million and one new ideas for organizing your home. A thousand posts about how to reinvigorate and stir new passion into your marriage. Hundreds of suggestions for how to create routines that will help you to move your body and drink more water.
Or maybe it's your your faith that feels a bit stale, and you’re wondering which influencer to follow to rekindle that passion for God. Maybe you feel a little guilty because last year's resolutions didn't stick through the year.
Let me reassure you: God’s mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23), and He’s ready to meet you right where you are.
And friend - when you meet with Him consistently, that one single step will refresh EVERY other area of your life.
Here is my encouragement to you: instead of jumping into an ambitious Bible reading plan that feels daunting, start with one passage or chapter a day and ask God to open your mind to His wisdom and grant you understanding.
Couple this with prayer—an honest conversation with Him about your fears, your desire to grow spiritually, your needs for your marriage, kids, work, and friendships, and your desire to surrender everything to His perfect will.
Trust that He can and will work in your heart as you first make it a priority to seek Him in Scripture, and second make it a priority to lay everything at His feet in obedience to Him.
Consider setting a faith-led goal for the year. Maybe it’s to study one book of the Bible deeply (you don't have to read the entire Bible in a year in order to grow!), memorize Scripture (perhaps one verse a month?), or pray regularly with your husband (or pray for him, if praying together isn't an option).
Whatever it is, make it personal and meaningful. And remember, you don’t have to do this alone! Surround yourself with women who will encourage and support you in your journey.
If you know God is calling you to take this one step to draw closer to Him, I would love to invite you to enroll in the Wives of the Word: Bible Study Methods for Women course! Doors are currently open, but only until THIS Friday, January 10, 2025.
This is your opportunity to start 2025 refreshed, with the tools and confidence to study Scripture deeply (even on the days you only have a few minutes), apply God’s truths to your marriage, parenting, and life, and grow into the women God has called you to be - while I hold your hand and guide you step-by-step, and with the encouragement and support of other women learning alongside you.
Enroll now and take the first step toward a life of spiritual renewal and joy! Doors close Friday, so don't miss out!
Let’s start this year with hearts renewed and ready for what God has in store!
