Do you love your husband?
Are you in love with your husband?
This notion of being "in love" isn't something taught in scripture.
In fact, while husbands are told to love their wives as Christ loves the church, women instead are told to respect, honor, obey, and submit to their husbands.
None of those things are emotions.
Loving your husband has nothing to do with whether or not you "feel" like loving him. It has nothing to do with whether you are "in love" with him.
Loving your husband is actively seeking to respect, honor, obey, and serve him.
This looks different to many husbands. Your husband may feel respected when you sit with him and watch him fix a car. Or, he may feel like you're micromanaging him if you do that.
Your husband may feel most loved when you shower him with words of appreciation. He may prefer that you give him quality time, or physical affection. Perhaps your husband receives love best when you offer an act of service like bringing him a cup of coffee, or maybe he enjoys receiving gifts.
If you're not familiar with the 5 Love Languages, I would encourage you to learn about them, and take the quiz to determine what your husband's love language is in this current season.
You can also look up resources for how to apply each of the love languages.
What we have to remember is that as seasons change, so do people. While his love language might be words of affirmation now, if you "fill his love tank" with words of affirmation but aren't able to spend much time together, it's possible his love language will shift over to quality time.
This is why it's so important to be a student of your husband, to be intentional about observing his responses to different acts of love that you offer.
Even more, communication is key! Making assumptions about what your husband wants or doesn't want can go sideways. Ask him questions to learn more about his preferences and desires, knowing his answers may change throughout the years. This is paramount to connecting and being able to love him well.
When you're upset with your husband, love him.
When he hurts your feelings, love him.
When he makes you angry, love him.
Being a godly wife means loving your husband IN ACTION, day in and day out, regardless of your feelings or emotions.
Love is not a feeling. Love is a commandment, and withholding it from your husband because you don't feel an emotion connected to it is simply disobedience to God.
I'd love to hear in the comments some ways that you love your husband in action on a daily basis! Share some suggestions for other wives who might be struggling with the "how to". Let's support and encourage each other!
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