Do you look at your marriage as a relationship that has transformed you?
There is a big difference between a transformational relationship and a transactional relationship.
We've all heard the phrase, "You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours," right? That obviously would be transactional.
I would encourage you to take a long, difficult look at yourself to ask if that's the way you're treating your marriage.
- Do you only do nice things for your husband when he does nice things for you?
- Will you only offer him respect and kindness if he does what you've asked or expected of him?
What about your relationship with God?
Have you ever thought, if He doesn't answer your prayers the way I want, then what's the point in following Him?
You'll only obey if He does what you want Him to do first.
Interestingly, scripture tells us that while we were still sinners, in other words, while we were NOT doing what God wanted us to do, God loved us still so much even then, that He sent Jesus to die for us.
THAT is a transformational relationship.
He asks the same of us - that we are willing to love others the way He loved us, FIRST, whether they've done anything for us or not.
This includes your husband. Whether he does what you consider to be his share of the household duties. Whether he "pulls his weight", or provides everything you think he should be providing, you are still expected to love him, honor him, and respect him.
Sometimes we feel justified in withholding respect, or affection, or kind gestures, because "he hasn't done a single thing all week," or maybe "he was so hurtful to me when he said..."
God tells us specifically to love the way He loves, and He loves DESPITE our negative behaviors.
No more "if you, then I'll" attitudes - spoken or unspoken, conscious or unconscious. Decide today, decide now, that you will consciously choose to bless your husband through your respect, kindness, and servant's heart regardless of what he has or hasn't done.
Do you feel like your marriage has been transactional or transformational? Are you willing to turn your marriage into a transformational relationship, simply by taking the transactions out of it?
Tell me in the comments, and let me know how I can pray for you!