I know you've heard this before...
"It's not what you said, it's how you said it."
Well...sometimes it actually IS what you say.
Other times, that old cliche is right, and it's more how you said it...or what your FACE said, rather than your words.
If you were to write down everything you said to your husband in a 24 hour period, would your words be full of kindness, respect, support, encouragement, and love - or would they have more demands, disdain, disregard, contempt, and self-proclaimed wisdom?
Luke 6:45
A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
Last week, we talked about cultivating a spirit of gratitude, especially for your husband. Focusing on the types of things God instructs in Philippians 4:8 - things that are pure, lovely, commendable, and praise-worthy - is a surefire way to fill our hearts with good things, so that our mouths will speak good things (it's funny how obeying scripture does that, isn't it?).
Why is it so important to be careful about how we speak to our husbands?
Proverbs 18:21
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
If you love to hear yourself talk, and your words contain mostly death, you will eat the fruit of death. Your husband will bear the weight of your words, and your marriage will suffer as a result of them.
On the other hand, if your words are full of life, you will eat the fruit of the life that you speak over your husband, your children, your home.
While being a godly wife does NOT mean we are to be silent about our own opinions, concerns, suggestions, or preferences - nor does it mean we are to ignore or enable sin - it DOES mean that our words must have LIFE in them.
Before you speak to your husband, ask yourself whether the goal of your words is to encourage him, build him up, show him respect and support, bring openness and transparency to your own feelings or thoughts in order to strengthen your bond - OR if the goal is to get your own point across, give him a "dose of his own medicine", point out a flaw that you find super annoying, or make sure he understands that you're right.
Sometimes difficult conversations need to take place. We can still speak life in those moments.
Other times, it will take discernment to recognize that a particular conversation is entirely unnecessary at all.
An imperative daily habit to cultivate as a godly wife is to be intentional about speaking words of respect, support, and encouragement to your husband each and EVERY day.
Whether you leave him a note, tell him on his way out the door, or send him a random text message, begin to make it part of your daily rhythm to speak life into your husband.
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