If you're like me, when you first met your husband and while you were dating, you spent an embarrassing amount of time choosing outfits, putting on make-up, figuring out your hair, and making sure you looked your absolute best when you saw him.
Then we got married, and after a while living in the same home where you have every right to feel comfortable, you may have cared less and less whether you were intentionally pleasing him or not.
Some wives make drastic changes to their hair either by cutting it or dying it, without first asking their husband's opinion.
Some wives go shopping for clothes and never think to ask their husband which items they like before they purchase.
I've heard many wives joke about how they don't even bother to shave their legs anymore, because they're married so they shouldn't have to.
After months or years of marriage, while our husbands remain faithful to us - the only women they are truly "allowed" to look at and lust over - we tend to punish their faithfulness by disregarding their opinions about our appearance.
Some women get upset because their husbands don't compliment them anymore or tell them how beautiful they are - but have they stopped to consider whether they are intentional about catering to their husbands preferences?
Here's my encouragement to you today, sweet friend.
Before you change your hair, or buy that new outfit, ask what your husband thinks.
If he doesn't want you to cut your hair, then don't. If he doesn't like a certain outfit, don't buy it.
Relax at home, but make sure to take care of yourself daily with proper hygiene, shower early in the day, get dressed, shave regularly.
Not out of obligation to do what he wants, but out of a desire to please him, to make yourself attractive to him, to show him that his opinion matters to you because HE matters to you.
Wouldn't you appreciate the same treatment from him?
Let's be wives who honor their husbands and seek to please them in all things, including our appearance.
Have you recently asked your husband's opinion about something related to your appearance? I'd love to hear about how you're honoring him that way - share in the comments!
Imagine yourself walking through the door of your home at the end of the day.
Everything is immaculate. The house has been cleaned, everything is put away where it belongs. Your diffuser is misting with your favorite blend. Dinner is just about ready, dessert has been prepared. Your husband greets you with a smile, a hug, and a kiss.
As you make your way into your bedroom, you notice the bed is made, the laundry has been washed and put away, and the bathroom is sparkling. Your bathrobe and comfy clothes are laid on the bed for you, along with a little love note from your husband.
You make your way to the kitchen to join your family and find fresh flowers on the table, and your husband pouring you a glass of your favorite beverage. You enjoy a delicious dinner and dessert, then your husband clears your space and makes sure the dishes get done and the kitchen cleaned up.
He draws you a bath with some Stress Away bath bombs, hands you a glass of wine, and gets your towel and bathrobe ready for you. During your bath, he gets the kids ready for bed and brings them in to say good night.
After your bath, he asks you to choose what to watch on TV so the two of you can snuggle on the couch for a while before bed.
At bedtime, he fills up the diffuser with your favorite sleepy blend, then spends a few minutes giving you an incredible foot rub before you both get under the covers and he turns off the lights.
How does this make you feel as you drift off to sleep? Do you feel loved, cared for, appreciated, adored?
What if he didn’t do all of these things every single day, but maybe just one or two. Would that still be pretty awesome?
Let’s turn this around and consider what things we do for our husbands when they come home from work.
- Do we have the house clean for them?
- Do we prepare dinners we know they’ll love?
- Do we add beauty to our homes in the form of flowers or delicious diffuser recipes misting when they arrive?
- Do we pour them a beverage, clear their space after dinner, and make sure everything gets cleaned up?
- Do we let them relax after dinner, choose what to watch on TV, and get everything prepared for bed?
- Do we offer to rub their feet or their shoulders?
All too often, I hear women talk about how outdated the advice is to have dinner ready for your husband, or clean the house for him, or bring him a drink, or give him a massage. It’s the “Stepford Wife” persona that our society seems to think makes women look like slaves rather than spouses.
But let me ask you…if your husband did all of those things for you, would you view him as your slave, or would you simply feel appreciated, cherished, and treasured?
Philippians 2:4 in the ESV version tells us, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
Notice it says look “not only” to your own interests. You are still expected to look to your own interests. But it can’t be ALL about you.
I don’t personally believe it’s realistic to expect to serve your husband in this manner every single night, doing all the things. You’d get burnt out and exhausted - or at least I would! 😄 It’s simply not sustainable.
What I do believe is that we can take some of those things and try to do as many of them as we can each day. Maybe one night we have an incredibly special home-cooked meal and dessert ready for him. The next night we cater to him by having his beverage ready and drawing him a bath. The night after, we give him an opportunity to relax after work by taking care of the kids, putting them to bed, and letting him take over the TV.
When we think of Christ, we think of Him as the Son of God, full of love and power and wisdom and authority. Yet, He tells us in Mark 10, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve...”
If the One we claim as Lord and Savior considers Himself a servant, how much more should we find honor in serving those we love, especially the one with whom we are one flesh?
What are some of the ways you welcome your husband home and serve him at the end of the day?
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